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The World's Best Towns for Outdoor Thrills


mdamanhuri77 22 / 35 3  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
Areas of beauty are always the best choice for outdoor activity especially for campers. We need a guide and plan for exploring strange areas. Here one of the top 9 Towns with Best outdoor activities. Moah, Utah. It has easy acces since it is in central acces point with beautiful parks in the United States. We will be ssurrounded by Rocks of arches National Park with a hundred mile green canyon. The visitors can climb in Alpine Forest.

There are several numbers of bike activities such as trail rides, technical rides etc tha can be the most favorite place for bikers. This a favourite route for advanced experience of cycling in Porcupine Rim.we can down-hill 200-foot cliif overlooking and turn in through the Juniper Woodland and pine Forest with artificial technic to drop along the way.

Outdoor events can be handle by local entrepreuners such as Bike shops and outdoor stores. Local community shoud tackle the position to increas selling goods in this whole area.

erwiin1 9 / 17  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hi, mdamanhuri77
Your essay is good, and I would give some corrections

1. It has easy acces (access ) since it is in central acces (access ) point with beautiful ...
2. We will be ssurrounded (surrounded ) by Rocks of arches ...
3. ..., technical rides etc tha (that ) can be the most ...
4. we can down-hill 200-foot cliif (cliff ) overlooking and turn in ...
5. Outdoor events can be handle by local entrepreuners (entrepreneur ) such as Bike ...
6. Local community shoud (should ) tackle the position to increas (increase ) selling goods ...

Thank you
fauzankrn 16 / 23 3  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Hello Mdaman, Here some inputs for you.

Here one of the top 9 Towns with Best outdoor activities. Moah, Utah.better if you merge those sentence be like Moah, which located in Utah is one of the top 9 towns with best outdoor activities.

..rides, technical rides etc.tT haT can be the most ...

This IS a favouritefavorite route for advanced experience

wWe can ENJOYdown-hill 200-foot cliifCLIFF overlooking and turn

Outdoor events can be handleD by local..

Good luck!
arisandy14 7 / 11 1  
Sep 28, 2016   #4
I've comments for yours.

There are several parts requiring re-correction. some are incomplete sentences because every sentence must have subject+verb. in this case it happens in yours such as "Here one of the top 9 Towns with Best outdoor activities". or "This a favourite route for advanced experience of cycling in Porcupine Rim" (nothing verb).

in addition, the array of sentences are also incomplete tenses like "Outdoor events can be handle"--i see you mean that it is passive, so we can correct to be "Outdoor events can be handled". The last, the word "whole" should be followed by plural noun, so it will be better we change to be "goods in this whole areas."

thanks..


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