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SAT : Is the world changing for the better ?

amanyeid 1 / -  
Jul 14, 2014   #1
SAT Essay Prompt Grading?
Can you please grade this essay on a scale of 1-6 (6 being the highest). I did this essay as practice for the real SAT.

change is the norm of life . Everything changes around us. We changes day after day the world also changes everyday. The world has changed dramatically in the last decades as it witness a great progress in different fields. Actually, Change isn't always good; it sometimes can be disastrous for its owner. Although the progress that is achieved in different fields, the world is still rapidly declining in other areas.

It is claimed that the world is changing for the better. our lives became easy because of the technology. However, the world becomes worse day after day. It becomes a place that we can't live in. this bad change is resulted from different reasons. If we look around us , we will find pollution everywhere . the air we breathe became more polluted than before because of the technology and the human as well. We pollute air by the smoke exited from our cars and factories. In addition, the water we drink became polluted as well. We pollute it in different ways as the factories throw their wastes in it and we also throw our rubbish in it . we treated with the water badly. In fact , this pollution causes many consequences as it is the reason for many dangerous diseases that threat the human today.

While it is true that the technology has solved many problems among the countries, I believe that more political conflicts among countries are resulted from the world change. For example, there is a conflict between Israeli and Palestine which makes wars of blood between them. They pretend that they are just defending themselves. However, This war causes many innocent children and virtuous people to die. what right allow those to kill the people and causes Chaos and Insecurity ?!. by what right those people displace and lose their homes and their chance of good life.

In conclusion, the world is changing for the worse . life become so complicated because of the Human greed. As world change as the problems In he world become more and more and it become too hard to live in.

eirehc 4 / 6  
Jul 15, 2014   #2
I think you should try to arrange the thoughts on your paragraph. Try writing 1 thought per paragraph. The ideas on each paragraph should not be contradicting.

I hope this would help u.

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