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TOEFL essay:The world is changing fast, people are less happy


hywb2 5 / 6 4  
Feb 5, 2013   #1
The human being is something of a paradox in the modern society. On the one hand, we lead an affluent material life, which is hardly anticipated by our ancestors, thanks to the progression of science and technology; on the other hand, complaints that we are not as happy as before are often heard. What is accountable for this vast contrast? In my opinion, the alteration of life style, keen competition and work pressure, and lack of communication, are three factors which weigh heavily against our feeling of happiness.

First of all, the complex life style exerts a negative influence upon people. Nowadays, our household life is overwhelmed with a variety of automated electrical appliances. Meal can be cooked by electrical cooker; dishes and bowls can be cleaned by dish washer; and clothes can be washed by washing-machine and so on. These appliances liberate us from boring and onerous household work greatly, but it arouse new problem-we need to learn a number of application manuals. The more function the appliances have, the more complex the manuals are. People are supposed to spend considerable time to grasp their complete function lest their advanced function is neglected. This process of reading sophisticated manuals is not fun for young people, let alone old people. As a result, when we enjoy the convenient life brought by high technology which aims to elevate our life standard, simultaneously, we are also troubled by it, and lose the happiness of simple life.

Furthermore, the stiff competition and the peer pressure in job make people fairly anxious and stressful. Most people in our society are anxious social climber; they commit to mean ambition and devote to material things. They strive for superiority over peers avidly, but not for the work per se. Burdensome work and pressure of long time make people in poor physical condition. In addition, the fear of future economy meltdown and concomitant layoff make people live at the atmosphere of pessimistic and anxious.

Last but not least, the prevailing of new media lead to less face-to-face communication. Today, we are willing to contact friends or family members by cell phone or email, and are reluctant to meet face to face. Although the new media bring us great convenience, it impairs our natural communication which is supposed to have more humanity.

All in all, human beings are lost and entrapped in the artificial life which is fabricated by themselves. Maybe this is the reason why some people seek more simple life in tranquil and serene villages that cut off from the outside world. I advocate that people try simple life and have more time with nature periodically after a period of busy work.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 5, 2013   #2
Very good introduction. It follows just the expected structure :)

Meals can be cooked by electrical cooker;

but it arousecreates to a new problem

Well .... I think more than reading manuals [ which some (like me) don't do at all :D] these activities lessen teh burning of calories causing obesity, which is a major problem. I think that point would sound stronger than this

Although the new media bring us great convenience, it impairs our natural communication which is supposed to have more humanityand feeling for each other .

I must say this is really a great essay. You have excellent writing skills. You really don't have to worry about this task. GOOD LUCK!
OP hywb2 5 / 6 4  
Feb 5, 2013   #3
Dumi, thank you very much for your revision. You give me so much encouragement to continue learning writing.


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