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essay about world crisis


Gustavo 2 / 1  
Dec 10, 2008   #1
Hi all! Any suggestions on how to improve this text, the vocabulary, the grammar and the cohesion of the ideas? thanks a lot!

The economic crisis, which was only rumors few months ago, is making hard to get credit and work for all. In crisis times it is common to think only in ourselves and how to assure our existence, forgetting to help the others and to think globally. However, this attitude only helps to complicate the situation.

The globalization has facilitated the development of countries that were considered poor before and, as a consequence, the fraction of world production is not negligible anymore. It's clear to notice that the only viable solutions to the crisis problem are those that count on all countries in the globe, because they are more and more representative nowadays.

Rational use of produced resources is an important factor to alleviate the crisis effects. Humankind is passing through recession because the world production is not following the consumption. As a consequence, if consumer countries keep on the waste of resources, soon the poor countries will suffer hardly the consequences of the crisis.

If the nations continue to think in a selfish way they can finish by making worse what is already bad. Wars are very common in times of crisis and they can be avoided if the nations respect each other. In the same way one can steal if he is hungry, the nations can declare war if there is a lack of basic resources.

Selfish thoughts in crisis times are not the solution to escape from that dangerous situation. The solution for a global problem will only work if all the nations take advantage on it, since the solution relies on the cooperation of all. The next step to keep the planet health is to learn better how to play in team.
charlqua 1 / 3  
Dec 10, 2008   #2
Hi
Starting at the basics, there are a few words missing and some spelling mistakes throughout the essay. I personally find that if i print out an essay and read it out loudly i spot these little mistakes and from there i can concentrate on cohesion and how it all works together. Hope that helps in a little way.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 11, 2008   #3
The economic crisis, which was only rumors few months ago, is making hard to get credit and work for all. In crisis times it is common to think only of ourselves and how to assure our secure existence, forgetting to help the others and to think globally. However, this attitude only serves to complicate the situation.

The process of globalization has facilitated the development of countries that were once quite poor, and as a consequence the fraction of world production is not negligible anymore. It's clear to notice that the only viable solutions to the crisis problem are those that count on all countries in the globe, because they are more and more representative nowadays.

...

Selfish thoughts in crisis times are not the solution to escape from danger and mitigate disadvantage . The solution for a global problem will only work if all the nations take advantage on it, since the solution relies on the cooperation of all. The next step to keep the planet healthy is to learn how to play better as a team .

This is a great, meaningful essay! If you add some statistics or quotations, it will become more powerful.


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