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World is like a small village and people, especially students, decide to go abroad for study


Habib Rastegar 8 / 18 1  
Jun 6, 2013   #1
Why many students choose attend schools and universities outside their home country

As the technology is growing up, the world is becoming small and smaller. Nowadays, world is like a small village and people especially students decide to go abroad to continue their education. Why many students choose to attend schools and universities outside their home country? As far as I am concerned, there are the three conspicuous aspects as follows. They go to foreign countries to find better career, better life and finally they need attention from others members of the society.

To begin with, a lot of educators want to go abroad in the hope of finding better and proper job. In the developing countries, most of the educators face with a lot of problems when they want to find their appropriate occupation. Therefore, they prefer to study hard and take the required tests such as TOEFL and GRE to travel to other countries or even to their continents to find a high-paying job. For instance, I am living in a third-order world country and I have a master degree in electrical engineering field and now there aren't any profession for me and I have many financial problems in my personal life. Thus, the best option for me is to apply for other colleges and universities in order to find job. So, if I had profession, I would make money and form my life and I would realize my dreams such as purchasing my favourite car and house.

Furthermore, students travel to foreign countries in the dream of having better life. I live in a country where goods are very expensive and there is too much inflation in the society and we don't have any export and import. Thus, we confront with a lot of problems in our private and social life. Students are the part of the society who doesn't have much money to spend their life and they prefer to migrate to countries where the things such as foods, renting, price of the home and cloths are pretty cheap. Since other countries propose free dorm or house and give them fund, students are willing to go abroad to live.

Last but not least, the educators from schools, colleges and university need public attention. The top managers of the government have to pay attention to the problems of the students and choose options to solve them. When students see that they don't have a high statue in their community, they prefer to live in countries that people respect them. I, myself, for example, live in developing country in the Asia and my professor always does not have time to talk with me. He almost always is busy and does not any attention to my request. Therefore, I prefer to continue my education in a university that the teachers and staffs pay close attention to my problems and do their best to solve them.

To sum up from what I have discussed, we can safely draw a conclusion that pupils migrate to other countries in the hope of finding better occupation, life and form their family as soon as possible. Additionally, they like the other parts of the society pay close attention to them in order to find solution for their dilemmas.
ArezuF 3 / 5  
Jun 6, 2013   #2
small and smallersmaller and smaller
, especially students,
others members
a lot of educators better to say a large number of instead of a lot of . by the way educator is a formal word which refers to teachers, but i don't think u wanted to talk about teachers.

even to their continents . this sentence doesn't make sense.
for instance is not formal, better 2 use for example
aren'tare notdon't-doesn'tdo not-does not
so is informal, should use therefore, as a result, consequently,...
ifprovided that is much more appropriate
a profession
to spend on their life
the prices of the home and clothe s are pretty cheaplow
give them fund, to whom them refers?! u didn't mention it.
staffsstaff is polural
u just wrote about ur problems but in ielts exam ur r supposed to talk GENERALLY, there is low COHERENCE and COHESION in ur writing!
shadman19922 21 / 74 10  
Jun 9, 2013   #3
You do have some Solid points, but I believe that your essay does not have smooth transisitons
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 22, 2013   #4
Nowadays, world is like a small village and people, especially students decide to go abroad to continue their education.

As far as I am concerned, there are the three conspicuous aspects as follows

.... I prefer you say "obvious reasons" instead of "conspicuous aspects"

. They go to foreign countries to find better career, better life and finally they need attention from others members of the society.

... Well, they do not find career first hand because they go to study and improve their credentials further. So you better say that they aim at a better exposure in terms of knowledge, skills, and networking opportunities that help them with a prospective future career and a quality life.

To begin with, a lot of educatorsstudents want to go abroad in the hope of finding better and proper job.

To begin with, many students wish to attend foreign universities in hope of acquiring a quality education that would enable them to find a promising career in future.


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