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IELTS Task 1 :World population figures and urban population in different world region. )


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Jan 21, 2014   #1
Please comment about my grammar entirely

The graphs below provide information on global population figures and figures for urban populations in different world regions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Line chart below show the world nations growth between 1800 and 2100, whether the urban growth in different world region was figured by another bar chart consecutively.

Generally, the first graph illustrate whole of world population whom rose steadily from 1800 until middle period of report. While in the last half growth of citizen rose sharply before felt decreased onward.

More clearly, the number of inhabitants inception from 1,8 million and rose gradually approach2 millions in 1930. In 1940 this figure continued sharply and reaches a peak by 8 million people in 2040. The worldwide population onward abruptly fall a gradual from 8 to 6 millions in the last 30 years.

The second chart provides information about the differences of urban population in wealth and poor region in the range from 2015 to 2040. We can see according to the data, urban population drawing in wealth region had been stabled for all of years about 1,2 millions. In any case, city residents in developing region increased steadily average 5 millions in each 5 years measurement. This data, however, can be material for predict the urban growth in both of countries.

Overall, developing country has huge contribution to world rate population whom their inhabitants stepped up year by year.




dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 21, 2014   #2
Line chart below show the world nations growth between 1800 and 2100, whether the urban growth in different world region was figured by another bar chart consecutively.

...Line chart below shows
I like if you improve clarity of this introduction more.

Generally, the first graph illustrate whole of world population whom rose steadily from 1800 until middle period of report.

... "Generally" does not contribute anything to your idea. This for them to assess your report writing skills and therefore be very concise and clear in your writing. Do not lengthen your sentences with words that do not contribute anything to your idea.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Jan 21, 2014   #3
how about this for introduction

The charts show the world nation growth from 1800 to 2100, and prediction of urban population in other regions between 2015 and 2040.

and

Overall, the world population growth rose steadily in the first half measured, and then sharply begin to reach a peak before felt in the last period.

is it clear enough ?
Honestly I have many confused of grammar using, especially in writing. Reading grammar material is not enough to make me understand, so that's why I'll try to write as far as i can even my writing is not good.

would you lease give correction in other sentences and give me specific advice ?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 21, 2014   #4
how about this for introduction
The charts show theworld nation growth from 1800 to 2100, and prediction of urban population in other regions between 2015 and 2040.

.... "world nation growth" - don't sound nice :( ...
Well, there is no harm in taking the parameter title which your prompt contains in your introduction. It is the presentation of your introduction that should be different from the prompt and you can do that by rephrasing. Here what I suggest;

The graphs show the population trends. While the line graph illustrates the global population trend from 1800 to 2100, the bar chart illustrates the urban population trend from 2011 to 2015.


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