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WORLD'S PROBLEM: OVERPOPULATION growth seems that it cannot be stopped


putri22 33 / 33 5  
Feb 4, 2016   #1
The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

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In this era, the immense amount of world's population growth seems that it cannot be stopped. I do believe that it becomes the most essential issue for humanity. There are several reasons why this phenomenon occurs.

First, the number of people in the world rises continuously in the light of free sex among teenagers. An enormous change of media, information, and technology makes these young people have more opportunities to do something that they should not do in their age. Statistic shows that the number of juveniles who get pregnant before marriage in Indonesia in 2013 is 2.2 million. Most of cases occur because the boys desire to have sex with their girlfriend after watching pornographic movie on the internet.

In addition, many married couple do not limit the number of their children. Research conducted by BKKN, an official institution that focus on population in Indonesia reveals that Indonesian family have a tendency to have more than 2 children. If this condition still continuous, United Nations predicts that in 2050, the number of population in Indonesia can reach more than 300 million.

These can bring many impacts on people's lives. The more people were born, the more human's basic needs are required. Food, housing, and job are the most necessities that should be considered by the government. If the government are not able to provide those needs, it can cause very serious problems such as famine, poverty, and high rate of unemployment.

To sum up, a dramatic rise of human's population is the most significant issue in the world. Government should pay more attention for this because it may lead a new problem such as a high rate of criminal acts or decrease of health quality in the world.

nuni11 33 / 30 5  
Feb 4, 2016   #2
I think your introduction is not really clear. I mean, since the examiner will read this first, try to make it more clear to illustrate your overall writing. For example:

In this era, humans are the valuable assets in every country. However, the immense amount of world's population growth seems that it cannot be stopped. Therefore, I believe that it is the most essential issue for humanity.

There are several reasons why this phenomenon occurs. First, the number of people ... An enormous changeS of (...)have more opportunities to do somethingsuch action


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