IELTS TASK 2: FOR TODAY'S WORLD, WHICH TYPE OF EDUCATION IS APPROPRIATE, GENERAL OR SPECIALIZED?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a wide range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career.

For today's world, which system is appropriate ?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

It is reported that secondary pupils in some countries are provided with an educational curriculum that covers a wide range of subjects. In others, however, more emphasis is being placed on particular groups of subjects that might benefit students' career paths. For today's world, although general education might bring undeniable benefits, I firmly believe that narrowly-focused education is more appropriate.

To begin with, it is suggested that general education provides students with background knowledge that might be fundamental to their entire lives. Firstly, studying a variety of subjects, from mathematics to history, enables young learners to know how the world functions. Secondly, being exposed to knowledge from various fields indicates that students can develop and have their own preferences. For example, Vietnamese students are educated with thirteen subjects from scientifically-related topics to civil-education. From those choices of subjects, students might determine their individual interests, hence, invest more in those interests in high school education.

Despite the fact that general education offers a solid background knowledge, it is concerned that such education is also responsible for the situation in which students are dis-oriented with their studies.

Perhaps the most effective remedy for this disorientation is specialized education in which students only practice skills that aim for their careers. For example, a future neuro-physicist needs not to master literature, or a musician does not have to be fluent in computing language. Those examples signify the fact that people do not need all knowledge. In contrast. A more narrow focus on particular subjects should be prioritized. It is highly believed that the more specialized a candidate is, the more appealing he or she becomes in the labor market. In today's world of innovation and AI, employers are seeking talents with highly-specialized competencies, regardless of their past academic grades.

To sum up, although some countries are providing general education, I firmly believe that specialized education is a more appropriate approach for today's world.

319 words

You are approaching this as a task 1 essay. The task 2 essay is not an analytical report. It is an opinion discussion paper. Therefore, you should not be using phrases such as, "It is reported that" and "To begin with". You should use words that represent the discussion, opinions, or other similar words that defer to consultative discussions in your presentation.

Speaking of similar words, you need to brush up on your synonym usage. When the original statement already says "wide range of subjects", you need to use an alternative form of that phrase in your own presentation for LR and GRA scoring benefits. You could have said "a vast array of topics" or a phrase that helps indicate the same reference in a different manner. It appears that your English vocabulary is highly limited at this point and you have a tendency to use cut and paste phrases from the original. Such errors will drag down your TA, LR, and GRa score.

You are using more reasons than explanations in your presentation. One reason will be good enough, as long as you clearly explain it. As it appears now, your discussions lack additional explanation development. All because you present 2 reasons one after another in the same paragraph, but do not really explain the reasons and how then connect to one another very well.

You should also avoid presenting single sentence presentations as these go against the 3 sentence minimum per paragraph and will result in GRA deductions for you yet again.

You are over using the phrase "for example" in this presentation. As always, it goes back to your vocabulary skills. You are limited in your synonym knowledge and that is proving to be a big problem for you in this presentation. You do not need 319 words when your presentation has severe scoring problems. USing 275-290 words will be enough. It is not the length that will get you the passing score, it is the ability to develop properly explained and reasoned paragraphs that will do that.

@Holt
Thank you very much. I didn't notice those mistakes when writing. My test is in 2 weeks, hopefully I can get myself improve.