Worldwide market of hybrid vehicles in three different areas - WRITING TASK 1

Worldwide market of hybrid vehicles

A breakdown of the information regarding globally trading of hybrid transportation in three different areas, a period of 4 years, started in 2006 is depicted in the bar chart. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that all of the figures had an upward trend. In any case, America tended to be the highest sales every period, except in the last period.

Initially, the figure for selling fleets using both fuel and electricity in America stood at 250,000 sales. Having a gap of around 200,000 units, Japan' sales were higher than rest of figures, at roughly 50,000 sales. While both the proportion of Japan and other were a slightly increase in 2007, at 60,000 and 70,000 respectively, the figure for America was an enormously jump into 350,000 sales, breaking the record as the highest one.

Turning to another year where the survey conducted, in 2009, trading hybrid vehicles in America was 320,000 sales, considerably ahead of Japan (90,000) and other (110,000). Eventually, the biggest rise was seen in the Japan, by 280,000 units. However, apart from increasing in each year, the number of hybrid trading in America dropped into 280,000 units.

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Overall, it is important (...) figures had an upward trend.
I think that this part should have a more descriptive tone (it can be observed that/the overall trend displayed is...)

... proportion of Japan and other were
considerably ahead of Japan (90,000) and[/b]other[/b] (110,000).
Even though the word "other" is given in the chart, it would be more appropriate to describe it as "other countries" or "other nations" or "industries from other countries", for example.

Turning to another year where the survey conducted, in 2009
You can just write "in 2009". You are describing from the chart anyway so it must be part of the survey.

Hi NinaJoesuf25,

As my opinion, your first sentence in the first paragraph is complex, just keep it simple.

...three different countries from 2006 to 2009 is depicted in the bar chart....

In the second sentence, you use the wrong meaning, the figures cannot have a trend. You may consider changing some words like below:
the chart shows a common upward trend/all mentioned countries saw a similar trend that sale rates increased throughout the period of 4 years.

Moreover, you should add some conjunction words, pronouns to make the paragraphs be more logical and smoothly, and using other tenses such as past present perfect rather than only using past tense. This may help in raising scores.

Now you have it, all my opinions. Hope them help.