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Writ. task 1: the pie chart provides information on 5 major purposes for student to study in Britain

Nhu Vu 1 / -  
Oct 12, 2017   #1
Please help me correct this task. I ,myself have recently studied ielts .i really need someone to help me

why specifically this school?

The given pie charts provide information on 5 major purposes for student's choice to study in a particular university in the UK in 1987 and in 2007

Overall, the greatest proportion of students choose a certain university because of the training programmes while concern about the distance between parents can be seen as the least popular in 1987. Students pay least attention to sport and social activities in 2007

In 1987,a large number of student ,35% opting formal study for suitable training programmes and this figure increased to 37% in 2007.Although the minority of student applying for school based on proximity between parental house at 10% and 15% for teaching programme in 1987. After two decades, a 3% increase was witnessed in the percentage of those caring about teaching quality and grow twofold to 22% for close to parents

By contrast,although a noticable number of student put their consideration on value of resources and extra- curricular activities at 21% and 19% respectively in1987.these purposes were less prioritised after 20 years.while the figure for quality of resources was 15% ,only 6% was interested in public activities .( 174 words)

digaprasiska 10 / 27 6  
Oct 12, 2017   #2
hi Nhu Vu

For writing task 1. Use this formula.

Overview : 2 - 3 Sentences
Main Paragraph 1 : 3- 4 sentences
Main Paragraph 2 : 3-4 sentences

The given pie charts provide information on 5 major s purpose ...

You didn't provide the question. Make sure you did paraphrase the question in this sentences. Since it's too short to stand alone, you may combine it with your second paragraph.

Make sure you read the question carefully because usually it ask you to make comparison but i didn't see any comparison in your main paragraph above.

Thank you
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,674 2040  
Oct 12, 2017   #3
Nhu, your overview is incomplete as it does not give an accurate outline of the discussion topics as presented in the pie charts you were provided. These are the information represented in the color coded pie chart. It was located on the right side of image that was provided to you. Indicating that information would have helped to better prepare the reader for the forthcoming discussion.

The discussion itself is confusing because you did not first, present the information from the individual pie charts before launching into the comparison discussion. The format should have been (in the body):

1. 1987
2. 2007
3. Comparison discussion

Following the above format, your presentation would have been better threshed out and presented in an understandable manner to the reader. You have all of the required information presented in the summary discussion. The problem was actually in your presentation of the discussion. Focus on the clarity of your presentation in your next practice test.

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