I have to write about one-day excursion - report

Sports flesh mob

Purposes of event
On 9th September, our group took part in the sporting event, which was taking place in honor of the day of the worker of physical education. The purpose of our participation was to do aerobics in the morning and after that watch some interesting sports competitions.

What we did
Firstly, all the students took together in the gym. Then we were doing different exercises to the music for about half an hour. After getting tired we went on lunch. Fortunately, the weather was good, so we were able to watch some football matches in the afternoon. Everyone could take part in different competitions, so we decided to play tennis for a while.

Comments
The event went perfectly, because the activities we chose were very funny and active, which created an atmosphere of the ease, so we were able to become closer and make new friends. Actually, this event was a combination of useful and enjoyable things, because we were learning to work in a team and do something new. Also, in my opinion, it is important that we were doing sports together, which was very positive for our health. Everyone was enjoyed.

the task was to write about one-day excursion and i do not know how to change this report( maybe i can add something

... taking place in honor of the day of the worker of physical education.

What does "worker of physical education" mean? Is the event in honor of a teacher, a profession, or a national holiday? Try to be more concise in your writing and clarify what you are talking about.

Firstly, all the students tookgot together in the gym. Then ..., we were doingengaged in ... the music for about half an hour. After getting tiredwe got tired... Everyone around us participated in could take part in differentvarious competitions, soand we decided to ...

Your second paragraph has no logical conclusion. What happened after you played tennis? Did everyone leave? Be sure to mention this in your essay.

Overall the essay has a solid definition on what you did, but the phrasing is a bit confusing.

Nastya, for starters, you can correct the title of the essay from Flesh Mob to "Flash Mob" which is what you meant to say. A Flash Mob is a large gathering of people performs a number in a public venue without prior announcement. A Flesh Mob, does not exist. It is not the appropriate term to use. When you present the date, never forget to include the year in the format because the reader needs to know if this is a current, immediate past, or previous event that took place. The activities that you discuss in the "What We Did" do not inform the reader as to whether the "Flash Mob" took place or not. If this was just a simple calisthenics event that you participated in and not an impromptu presentation, then change the title of the presentation. You could expand more about that portion by indicating how you participated in other events and how you mingled with the other people at the celebration. Your comments are acceptable. I am not sure about what other activities you did and what you experienced during that time so I am not going to say anything about how to improve that portion. That is something that is based on a personal opinion so I will accept what you said about the event.