Hello everyone, I am practicing writing and this is my essay, if possible, I would love to know my score on this task. Thanks so much !!
Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad.
Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Essay:
Hosting an international sports event is an important thing which has to be prepared well. Due to that, many opinions exist.
Firstly, positive views need to be talked about. When a country gets to host such a famous event, it will probably get well-known by other nations. And surely that can help the country a lot. For instance, governments and residents have a chance to use the opportunity to advertise their culture to foreign people. By doing that, the country's economy might increase sharply during the event. Besides that, it will satisfy some people's wish to meet famous sports players. They have a high rate of talking to their favorite players whom they really want to talk to once in their life.
However, the risk of hosting a big event still exists, an important event is not good at all. That is why there is a debate about this topic. If a country can not be able to prepare for the event in a period, they have to do as many ways as possible to finish preparation on time, severe consequences may happen. The most obvious thing is that people attending that event will have a bad experience and are sure to make complaints. Which then affects the country's image. For example, in real life, Qatar is a country that hosts the 2022 World cup event, they have to rush to finish building a big stadium, over 6000 people sacrificed their lives for that. Hearing sad news, people around the world disagree going to Qatar to attend the World cup. The result is Qatar has been badly affected.
In conclusion, from my perspective, hosting an international sports event is both good and bad, good things or bad things depend on that country's responsibility.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation is not properly formatted in the first paragraph. Based on the original prompt, the writer should be presenting at least 3 sentences in this paragraph. It must individually respresent:
- The first public opinion
- The second public opinion
- The writer's opinion
These 3 sentences comprise the required information that will meet the task requirements for increased scoring consideration. In this case, the topic is presented, but the implications for each target audience is missing, specially in the personal opinion section.
The writer does not understand that his personal opinion cannot be made a conclusion of this presentation. The personal opinion can be presented in only one of 2 ways:
- As a representation of his opinion of each reason within the same paragraph. That is after the public opinion is explained. He may agree or disagree at that point
- As a stand alone 3rd paragraph that supports one of the two public opinions. The stand alone explanation is part of the 3 reasoning paragraph option for this type of prompt.
The concluding summary should only indicate a recap of the previous discussion, along with the writer's opinion as a closing reiteration.
While the writing is not formatted properly, I am pleased to say that the writer at least understood the discussion requirements and showed a clear opinion of the topic. It is just that the formatting requirements were not appropriately met, causing problems with his scoring considerations.
@Holt
Honestly, I really appreciate your help with my writing. As a person who is learning IELTS on my own, It is very necessary to know my mistakes and I will try to improve my writing.
