I'm studying for my SAT's and I am really struggling on the essay section. This is my first post and I know that it needs a lot of work but I'm begging you, Please read and bombard me with any suggestions or advice, it is always welcomed:)
Since the beginning of time, human beings have been inventing ways to improve our ways of living. Although technology has made some aspects of life easier, it has not necessarily made our lives betterr.
Some inventions like the cell phone is by far in modern days the best way of not only communicating with others, but now you can also listen to music, watch movies or even book a flight. But one has to ask themselves, at what cost? An average teenager spends around 6 hours a day on their cell phone. Consider what all that radio-waves energy is doing to their bodies? Surely, cutting down on the time we use on such devices can avoid countless of doctors appointments and high hospital bills, not to mention the cost of the the cellphone bill itself.
Nowadays, people prefer sending emails and video chatting over the internet rather than writing letters to each other which would improve their reading and writing skills. A lot of youths these days favor to spend hours on sites such as facebook or x-rated sites, rather than lets say just reading a simple book or novel. In recent years, many more cases of kidnapping of unsuspecting teens who spend time chatting on the internet with people they don't even know has increased.
Parents can't keep track of what their children are actually doing online. They may believe that their parental guard on certain websites are enough to keep their children safe, but studies have shown that most kids seem to know how to o around them.
Though the use of automobiles have made getting around easier, and at times faster, most people are getting frustrated at the increasing amount traffic. They spend precious hours in their cars when they can be using that time for something more productive. And not to mention all the pollution the gas fumes produce daily, harming our health and the environment.
Yes, technology has in many improved our living but most will agree that it does not really make our lives easier. We are the only ones who can ensure that.
Your essay is quite good and will most probably get you an 8 or a 9. However there are some grammar mistakes but I am sure that if you write your essay and then read it over once you will catch them. Also, they love the use of vocabulary. Try to increase your vocabulary and use more complex words wherever you can. This is sure to increase your score. I can say this because I just finished taking my SATs and my essay score went up 2 points just because I used better vocabulary.
Some inventions like the cell phone is by far in modern days the best way of not only communicating with others, but now you can also listening to music, watching movies or even bookinga flights . (parallel structure)But one has to ask themselves, at what cost? An average teenager spends around 6 hours a day on their cell phone. Consider what all thatthose radio-waves energyisare doing to their bodies? Surely, cutting down on the time we usespend on such devices can avoidreduce the number of countless of doctors appointments and high hospital bills, not to mention the cost of the the cellphone bill itself.
I think if you keep writing more and more the better you will get. Good luck!
pretty good, a little more explanation
Although technology has made some aspects of life easier, it has not necessarily made our lives betterr.
cell phone is harmful not sure about this
The cell phone is by far in modern days the best way of not only communicating with others, but now you can also listen to music, watch movies or even book a flight. But one has to ask themselves, at what cost? An average teenager spends around 6 hours a day on their cell phone. Consider what all that radio-waves energy is doing to their bodies? Surely, cutting down on the time we use on such devices can avoid countless of doctors appointments and high hospital bills, not to mention the cost of the the cellphone bill itself.
can get information immediately
Nowadays, people prefer sending emails and video chatting over the internet rather than writing letters to each other which would improve their reading and writing skills. A lot of youths these days favor to spend hours on sites such as facebook or x-rated sites, rather than lets say just reading a simple book or novel. In recent years, many more cases of kidnapping of unsuspecting teens who spend time chatting on the internet with people they don't even know has increased.
Parents can't keep track of what their children are actually doing online. They may believe that their parental guard on certain websites are enough to keep their children safe, but studies have shown that most kids seem to know how to o around them.
easier to get information
Though the use of automobiles have made getting around easier, and at times faster, most people are getting frustrated at the increasing amount traffic. They spend precious hours in their cars when they can be using that time for something more productive. And not to mention all the pollution the gas fumes produce daily, harming our health and the environment.
Yes, technology has in many improved our living but most will agree that it does not really make our lives easier. We are the only ones who can ensure that.
i would just say cellphones do not make our lives easier.
they increase the work load
-before we can start on our work we have to answer a thousand emails
-distracting
leads to poorer work or school performance
