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IELTS Writng task 1: why UK adults attend arts events

vuthaihoa74 2 / 5 1  
Oct 31, 2019   #1
Question: The table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

participating in arts events in the uk

My writing:
The table given illustrates the finding of a study from 20 years ago until present which helps to explains why UK adults participate in arts events. It is clear from the infoformation provided that the most popular reason among these is the enthusiasm to see celebrities' appearance.

In detail, 20 years ago, 58% of the study's subjects said that they attended arts shows because they would like to see famous performers and artists. This figure, then, has almost remained unchanged by the end of the research with the percentage being around 55%. By contrast, going arts events for work and business is the least popular among these. At the beginning of the study, only 6 percent of UK adults attented art events because of this reason. The next 20 years have witnessed a considerable increase with the proportion going up to 10 percent at the time of 10 years ago and 11 percent by now.

In addition, UK adults also go to arts shows to watch their children. Suprisingly, this reason has become much more common, Being just under 10 percent and 15 percent at the time of 20 years ago and 10 years ago respectively, the number of UK adults accompanying their children make up 24% of the total by today. Finally, people take part in art events if they are special occasions or celebrations. 20 years ago, it was relatively common with over a quarter of respondants mentioning this reason, but it has decreased steadily and drmatically by two thirds to just 9 percent by today, making it the least popular, even behind the reason of "work and busniess" at the end of the study.

suong1510 5 / 9 1  
Nov 1, 2019   #2
I think your essay needs to be used in past sentences. overall, the structure is good and you deserve a high score
OP vuthaihoa74 2 / 5 1  
Nov 1, 2019   #3
thank you. to be honest, i'm really struglling with the tenses for my writing. Overall, i think the use is proper, however, there are some points i'm not really sure if i should use simple past tense or simple present.
Bear Lac Loi - / 3 2  
Nov 1, 2019   #4
I will be commenting your first paragraph in detail and provide a brief comment for your second and third so you can try to work on them yourself. Please let me know if you have any questions.

The table given given table illustrates the finding of from a study ... until present a study for the past 20 years which helps to explains why to explain the reasons UK adults participate in arts art events.

Better: The table shows reasons for people in the UK attending art events through four categories during the past 20 years.

It is clear from the information provided provided information that the most popular reason among these is the enthusiasm to see celebrities' appearance a specific performer or artist.

Better: Though it is good to point out the obvious, it is better to just list out the categories. After all, your purpose is to describe the table: "These reasons include the desire to see a specific performer or artist, accompanying children, special occasion or celebration, and work or business."

In your second and third paragraphs, you did OK by describing each category in detail. However, your description is unnecessarily wordy, which makes your essay exceed 150 words. You can shorten it up by just a simple description such as: "Majority of adult participating in the events are due to the desire to see a specific performers or artist. These percentages have not changed much for the past 20 years, which were around 55% to 58%."

There are also a few misspelling words such as attended, surprisingly, respondents, dramatically, business.

Good luck.

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