IELTS WRITNG TASK 2: The impact of ageing populations on both individuals and society

Challenges of an ageing population

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Owing to the rapid advancement of technology in the the modern world, the average length of life for people is growing at a fast pace. Although the increase in elderly people causes a negative long-term impact on both individuals and society, some steps can be taken to tackle these problems.

Ageing populations around the world have led to disastrous consequences. Rising life expectancy might not be beneficial for old people, as longevity is usually accompanied by deteriorating health and illnesses. Old age is not desirable for not only the elderly but also working adults who have to work more to provide food and medical treatments for the elderly dependents. Moreover, ageing populations result in a fall in productivity in industry and economic downturn, because of the lack of young workforce which is full of economically active people. It will also pose some problems to the government such as the inability to provide enough health care and welfare to meet the needs of pensioners.

There are various suggested methods to deal with these issues. The first method would be raising the retirement age, so that healthy elderly people can enter the workforce. Secondly, raising income tax to pay for pensions and health care might be an effective solution, despite some oppositions form working-age adults. Finally, to have more productive young workers, the government should attract economically active migrants from developing countries and encourage families to have more children.

In conclusion, society and individuals should cooperate to mitigate the problems from constantly growing numbers of elderly people worldwide.

Moon, your response is good but partially in error. Technology is not the reason that old people are living longer these days. It is medical science advancements that helps people to conquer illnesses that in turn, help them to lead longer and more productive lives. Technology refers to gadgets and other electronic or mechanical advancements. These do not help to prolong life. Medical science is the branch of science that does that.

Your reasoning paragraphs are not developed in terms of content. That is because you lost sight of what the objective of the task 2 essay is about. The Task 2 essay is all about your ability to discuss a single topic based on several supporting reasons in a clear manner using the English language. All you did in this essay is present discussion topics without a clear explanation nor supporting data to strengthen your topic presentations. Therefore, your paragraphs will be scored on the "under-developed discussion" side. The general rule is one topic sentence per paragraph with supporting explanations for the remaining 4 sentences. It is not 5 topic sentences alone. If you have topic sentences but cannot clearly and convincingly explain it, then the topic sentence doesn't serve a purpose.

For this essay, I think the proper approach would have been:
1. Paraphrase
2. Reason
3. Solution
4. Concluding summary

A 4 paragraph essay would have been sufficient to represent a completely developed and clear English discussion based on the given prompt instructions.

Thank you for your advice.