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Writng task 2: Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime.


kieu mai 1 / -  
Nov 19, 2022   #1
Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime.
However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Do Do you agree or disagree?



It has been argued that the reduction of crime rate will be accomplished more effectively through more qualified education rather than prison sentences. I personally disagree with this statement as both methods play crucial roles in handling illegalities.

On the one hand, it is reasonable/understandable to resolve the crime problem by sending criminals to prison. Firstly, prisons are places to keep dangerous criminals who certainly pose a serious threat to society such as murderers or terrorists. This will make these felons receive punishments for their heinous actions, ensuring the safety of innocent people. Secondly, severe prison sentences serve as a deterrent against unlawful acts. This is because lawbreakers have to confront tough struggles in jail, loss of freedom, and separation from their beloved ones. If criminals are obsessed with these physical and mental punishments, they may stop reoffending.

On the other hand, the reasons why education would greatly contribute to crime reduction are varied. Education could heighten people's intellect and therefore form a civilized society. With access to better education services, citizens would be aware of the consequences of committing crimes which eventually leads to the decrease in crime rates. Furthermore, when given a chance to receive an education like vocational training, criminals could seek job opportunities after being released from prison. In fact, former inmates could encounter numerous obstacles after a long time of being isolated from society. Thus, the possession of certain qualifications assists inmates to earn a living by their own labor power, which would dispel any ideas of committing crimes.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that both incarceration policies and better education have major roles in coping with crimes.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Nov 19, 2022   #2
While the writer more than met the required word count to gain proper scoring consideration based on each scoring consideration, I am afraid that the writer has not come up with a passing score essay. Although he explained himself in an acceptable manner in the paragraphs, the fact that he misrepresented the original topic and did not provide the correct response format for the discussion are the reasons why the essay cannot be considered for a passing score.

Please take note of the original topic presentation:

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime

The writer misunderstood the topic for discussion and presented it as:

It has been argued that the reduction of crime rate will be accomplished more effectively through more qualified education rather than prison sentences.

The correct restatement should have been:

Most parts of the world try to resolve criminal problems by placing offenders in prison. However, there is a growing trend that advocates for proper education as the better way to prevent crimes.

As for the writer's opinion, The original presentation requires a single supporting opinion for one of the two opinions. The question was never based on "To what extent" or "Discuss both opinions", which are the only writing instructions that allow for a comparison opinion presentation. So the writer failed to offer a single clear opinion on the topic. His opinion was not based on the proper response format.

The start of the essay was already incorrect so the TA score will not be a passing one. Since the TA preliminary score is the foundation of the final overall score, the writer will not be able to meet the overall passing score consideration.


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