Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

[ Writting Task 2 ] Home ownership is sometimes considered more favorable than renting


zizih 1 / -  
May 22, 2021   #1
Topic:

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.



Why might this be the case?
Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?


My Essay:

In today's society, many people from some nations believed that owning a house rather than renting one is crucial. In my opinion, whether it is positive or negative depends on various factors.

To begin with, some people appreciate self-owned house because of stability and interest from property investment. Firstly, when people have a house by themself, they don't need to pay for rent monthly and be under pressure because of the landlord's bad attitude. Moreover, when finishing a rental contract for 6 or 12 months, the house renter may have to find alternative accommodation. However, transferring the accommodation regularly can lead to many negative effects on their current job, mental health, and budget. Secondly, nowadays, the property investment has attracted a large number of people. They can get higher money than the initial fund in the future. In addition, in some nations, especially ASEAN countries, people have a tendency to settle down and owning a house is a vital foundation. For example, Vietnamese will buy a house before thinking about marriage and job development.

Although owning a house has a lot of benefits, there are some drawbacks. For some people, buying a property costs an arm and leg. This price can be out of their budget. Hence, they fund by taking out a loan from the bank and repay over a long time. Moreover, they have to pay the property taxes and insurance. On the other hand, the property value is not stable. For instance, in a global pandemic period like the last year, the house price increased sharply making many property investors go bankrupt.

In conclusion, owning a home satisfies the desire for stability, traditional thinking, and seeing a return from investment, but despite these benefits, there are serious problems.

My question: Please let me know the error on my essay and how many marks can I get on the IELTS scale. Thank you so much.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,846 4177  
May 23, 2021   #2
believed

Incorrect. The thought is ongoing soit is a present action. The word should be "believe I instead.

whether it is positive or negative depends on various factors.

Pick one side. You just got a failed TA score because you do not have a definite - based on the choices provided. As this is a single opinion essay rather than a comparative discussion, and due to the lack of a clean opinion, this will be a failing essay presentation.

You did not follow a single discussion as provided in the prompt. Had you at least provided a single opinion, you could have been partially scored on that basis. However, you would still have failed for not writing the minimum 250 words in support of your opinion.You ended up creating your own discussion target and responding to that instead of addressing the required facts from the original discussion guide. This is what led to the failed essay presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / [ Writting Task 2 ] Home ownership is sometimes considered more favorable than renting