From the entire fields of the human endeavor, we can consider the language as the most important achievement we made
This is not a strong hook. A hook sentence should hook the reader into reading more. It should be interesting, meaningful and relevant to your topic too. Let's take the first section of this;
From theentire fields of the human endeavor
.... this sounds a bit awkward.
From the entire fields of the human endeavor, we can consider the language as the most important achievement we made. However, as many places the human race has occupied and lived in all around the globe, as many languages have been developed .each language has its society and culture flavor. Some people want to take those flavors out and replace them by a mono flavor .although, they argue that the communication between people shall be easier, I shall disagree with that opinion and I prefer to keep our earth as spicy as it is.
Through out your introduction, I find you attempting try things in a more novel manner, but they haven't come through nicely. For example;
each language has its society and culture flavor
... how can a language has a society? what you should have said is that;
Each language represents its society and culture.I strongly advise you not to experiment with phrases or words if you are not sure... They would interpret a total different meaning and spoil your essay.