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Young offenders should be equally treated as adults one's.

Jaggi7921 13 / 22  
Jul 7, 2015   #1
Some people think that teenagers who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adults criminals.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The juvenile delinquency is on the rise at an alarming rate has drawn much social concern.Some people think that young offenders also punished as same as adults one's.I partially agree with the idea of equal sentences and in this essay I will discuss why this policy should not be implemented.

Perhaps the principal reason behind the former view is that people think children are more likely to suffer from pschological problems than adults do.It is universally accepted that they are still in adolescence and immature stage,so they can be fully unaware about the criminal pursuits that they done and how it has hurt other's.Apart from that,nowadays television program are full of crime violence,pornography and bloody contents;they are often glorified and polished to attract youngster eyes and to be conveniently imitated.

Numerous studies consistently found that teenagers mental energy is ih the back of brain,whereas adults do their processing in the front.So the ability to taking decision among children are very low as compared to their counterpart.Nowadays this is also evident that bothe parent spend more time at workpace and have less time to supervise their kids.This is one of the main causes behind increasing the social problems between children.Although,it is scientifically proved that only parents can give the right direction to their children and kids happily imitate their action without any doubts.

Equally there are strong argument to treated adolescent in the same as adults do.Some people believe that we should be lenient with teenagers and give them easier sentences for their offences.However,the crime they are commiting are every bit as heinous as adults crimes,so this is very ridiculous idea to treated hiveniles different than adults.In addition,a crime is a crime,no matter who commits this crime the victim's family still suffer either crime commited by youngsters or adults.Many people assert that most of the youngster have personal problems but that does not mean they have to commit a crime to feel better,they just need to search for help.

In summary,we can see that this is clearly a complex issue as both views have equally supporting points.I think children who commit serious crime like murder,rape etc. should be equally punished,it really does not matter the age of the criminals.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jul 8, 2015   #2
A very thought provoking essay on a controversial subject. I think you handled it well, and with tact.

young offenders also punished...

SUGGESTION: young offenders should be punished...

You need to watch your verb conjugation throughout the essay, as this would strengthen the work.

equally there are strong argument...

SUGGESTION: equally there are strong arguments...

Watch the word choice, as singular and plural are different.

Your form is excellent, with the right intro and conclusion, and three body paragraphs. The punctuation is fine.

You will have a better essay if you follow my suggestions, but you did a good job on it as a whole. Just pay closer attention to word choice and verb conjugation. These are major points toward improvement of your essay.

This is a tricky argument, philosophically, but you navigated it very well!


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