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GRE - young people to not be advised to "follow your dreams," but to go for" worthy goals"

Apr 16, 2016   #1
Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to "follow your dreams," more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people's dreams are inherently selfish.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.

To fall to a general opinion of selfishness , it is truly dangerous to cull the creativity of youth , which is the building bock of a healthy society.They should be encouraged to follow their dreams on the guidance of mentors.

Youthfull ness it self is characteristic of its enthusiasm and energy.Their enthusiasm emanates form their dreams. This is what phycology states. Their dreams are generally carried from thier childhood. As they see the society, how well they can modify the community, or develop the society, all comes to thier dreams, and as they grow up to youth, they seek opportunities for achiving their dreams. When they are sucessful , the society is benifited and community improves. For achiving thier goals, these youths are ready to endure any harsh situations and difficulties. These secton of youths are the jewels of the human kind- they always add on to the well being of humanity.For example a Oscar award winning Indian actor Mr. Amithab Bachan, gone through very pathetic experiences to achive his dream to become an actor. He could make his input to the filim field.If he had abandon his dream for a " worthy goal" we could get a lower division clerck or a police constable from him.

The term ' worthy goal' more look like a quatadian job mostly under some management or by goverment, providing the necessery wherewithal for a month and a grand retirement sum. This is not the society needs for the time. Every body is encouraged to follow the " worthy goals" and the these so called worty goals are consumed up quickly, as it is easly achivable and the result is unempolyment. And nobody is left to follow an ambitious goal. The society is left wanding, hungry of challenging youth to take up the task.

While follwoing the dreams, youth must think practically too. They should find the necessery money for thier survial and aware the be motivated and let not go out of focus and to selfish. There is a dangerous chance for this , Here, the advice of the eldery and faculty comes to play. They can guide them to the porper way.

So we have to encourage the youth to achieve their dreams

This an essay wrote in 30 minutes ( as the question requires) - please comment on this essay

tria25 12 / 19 4  
Apr 17, 2016   #2
Hello Robin, you writing is good and I can catch your idea inside it. However, you have to becareful with some errors because it can affect your score negatively.

it self ----> itself
it should be combined

you have good sentence, yet it is better if you practice to make compound even complex sentence in it.

I also find some space errors likethe creativity of youth , youth, which is. you must not separate the word and punctuation like in this example.

warm regard.

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