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IELTS TASK 2: Young people are much aware about issues than previous generations.


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 11, 2014   #1
hi, all. I am studying for increasing my writing. I am glad if you give the reason and explanation about my mistake(s). Thank you

Young people are much aware and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your own opinion?
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There is a comparison between young and old generation in order to see particular issues such as environment, poverty and animal welfare. While some people claim that the new generation is more concerned about those issues rather than the former generation, I too personally hold this view by several important reasons.

The previous generation lives where the natural resource is abundance. Thus, they benefit from the resources surround without care how to preserve it for the present for the following generation. As fact, nowadays we can see the environmental problem emerging everywhere and also urging the now generation to tackle this problem. Therefore, many juveniles emphasizing their seriousness tackle this problem through creativity ways such as making poster, blogging campaign and planting trees are commonly occurs.

Moreover, the youngster not only aware about the environmental issue but also pay attention about social difficulties. I believe this also caused by rapid development of technology such as internet which counterpart with the former generation. While technology does not occur well in the previous, the antecedent commonly paid attention to fulfill they own goods. On the other hand, hearing the sound of hunger in isolated place raise and touch their heart to do some movement. Thus, this resulted for various creative events in order to tackle poverty problems made by youngster. Take one example, Danny Glover a young actor also a poverty activist. He is in collaborated with United Nation Development Program (UNDP) in a mission to reduce poverty in the impoverished nations.

Animal welfare should be thought serious nowadays. In comparison with the previous era, there is no such a suitable place for animal especially in the big city. We can see dogs and cats are walking freely through the main road and in high risk violence by cruel people. But nowadays, aware youngsters, commonly in a community, already build shelters to care such wild animals.

In conclusion, whether sometimes people are underestimated youngster ability in order to tackle the happening issues. In my opinion, those reasons above are kind of emphasize that youngster also can do much with their ways give to alternative solution related to problems surrounds.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 11, 2014   #2
I am studying for increasing my writing.

I am studying to improve my writing skills. :) ... very good :)

There is a comparison between young and old generation in order to see particular issues such as environment, poverty and animal welfare

I suggest this for your hook;
People's awareness about issues relating to environment, poverty and animal welfare is very important for us to make a better world.

While some people claim that the new generation is more concerned about those issues rather than the former generation, I too personally hold this view by several important reasons.

Some people claim that the new generation is more knowledgeable about such issues compared to the previous generations. I too personally hold this view due to several important reasons.
Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Mar 11, 2014   #3
Your introduction seems to be ok! But you haven't written:
Hook - An interesting statement to catch the reader's attention!


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