Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

IELTS - young people's challenges in major cities

cy20070324 2 / 2 1  
Sep 20, 2014   #1
With major cities continue growing, are there any problems to young people? How to solve these problems?

Nowadays, metropolises have seized our attention with their constant expansion. At the same time, problems also emerge, especially regarding the youth who are attracted by the spectacular life there. In my opinion, there are two key problems facing those young adults, namely, the difficulties to hunt jobs and start a stable relationship, but they can be mitigated if dealt with properly.

In my view, seeking employment and finding Mr. /Ms. Right represent the two major daunting tasks facing young adults these days. First of all, since there are countless young people who gravitate towards the colorful life in the cities, competition for a decent post can be cut-throat. Although equipped with bilingual ability, computer proficiency, and diploma from accredited educational institutions, young people still feel stressful to find satisfying jobs. Another area where young adults experience difficulties is that they are short of time and stamina to start a romantic relationship, since the fast-paced city life devours too much of their leisure time and energy by forcing them to work overtime.

Nonetheless, there are some strategies that can help mitigate these above-mentioned problems. To start with, by allocating more budgets to boost emerging industries that can offer more job to the youth, the government can relieve the stress on the youth to look for decent jobs. For instance, through government investment in the IT industry, which represents a crucial magnet absorbing high-caliber young employment seekers, enterprises can supply more suitable posts for the young. As for the lack of time and energy to engage in a romantic relationship, the young should avail themselves of the state-of-the-art technologies online and register in those dating websites, which can expand their dating pool with no sacrifice on their devotion to career.

To sum up, while it is true that young people need to tackle challenges, such as finding a suitable post and starting a romantic relationship, endeavors from the government and individuals can alleviate these problems, e.g. investment in strategic industries and making use of dating websites.

Please kindly rate it on a scale of 0 to 9. THANKS!

Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 20, 2014   #2
After reading your issue,I really believe city is a great place!

Although some people argues that there are difficulties to hunt jobs,but that's not true ! With boosting industries and financial support,millions of job opportunities available in cities.

Although life in a big city is busy, we can always figure a way,even a better way to build up a great relationships.

All in all,City makes our life much better~!
CaptainCook 6 / 14 1  
Sep 21, 2014   #3
overall it is fine. but i think you can try and give some more concrete elaborations and solution to your proposed problem which is the difficulty to find a soul mate.
sa1na 9 / 72 19  
Sep 21, 2014   #4
two key problems facing those young adults - I believe it's better to say those young adults are facing the problems, not the other way around.

In general,it was a good essay with no noteworthy error.
Iyeshaferguson 5 / 11  
Sep 21, 2014   #5
Overall, very good essay I agree with the people above!
SAM2014 8 / 13 3  
Sep 22, 2014   #6
The structure is OK for me and you use a wide range of vacabularies. I think at least you can get a 7.
dev311 1 / 4  
Oct 21, 2014   #7
Great essay! You can expect a band 7 in writing

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - young people's challenges in major cities