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IELTS 2: young people are more creative than older people in business or in the workplace


hain3dessay 2 / 3 2  
May 7, 2016   #1
Some people claim that young people are more creative than older people in business or in the workplace.
Do you agree or diagree with this?

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Nowadays, in our modern society, it is a common belief that elder workers are much less creative than those who are younger or new in business. This strange and absurd point of view had caused many companies and industries to discard experienced and skillful workers just because they are old. Both young and old people contribute to our society in different ways.

These days, the young are favored by many companies for their excellent ability to deal with the most sophiticated technologies, which allows them to catch up the newest aspects. They are also generally open minded and tends to adopt and develop new ideas. What is more, they are mostly well experienced in computers and other modern gadgets which help them develop necessary skills in using hardware or software to produce amazing pieces of work. However, young people usually are irresponsible or unreliable since they lack responsibilities such as paying tax, managing family spendings or a family to take care of. They often find excuses like "sickness" to have a few days off, making them untrust worthy.

Older workers, on the other hand, are more experienced for all the lessos they gathered from their earlier days. They are known to be considerate and wise for they has solved problems in life. Many old people had to support their children's economy and managing their own so they are much more responsible. Nevertheless, they lack the skills and ability to adapt to changes which makes them less creative and fear to take risks or challenges.

To sum up, everyone is good but in different aspects. It is our job to help workers rise to their full potential.

NourNour 22 / 39 7  
May 7, 2016   #2
Hi Hai, you have done a good job. Here are my remarks:

1. These days --------> In today's world ( there are many expressions you can use. This is just a suggestion)

2. lessos ------------> lessons

3. The conclusion is too short.

Good luck :)
aviniwirastri [Contributor] 10 / 35 11  
May 7, 2016   #3
hi Hain,, god bless you.

let me give you comments.

intro :
you need to state your position first. do you agree or disagree, then you can go with the thesis "Both young and old people contribute to our society in different ways"

... excellent ability to deal with the most sophis ticated technologies, which ...
They are also generally open-minded and tends to adopt and develop new ideas. What is more, they are mostly well-experienced in computers and other modern ...

... since they lack responsibilities such as paying tax, managing family ...
They often find excuses like "sickness" to have a few days off
, making them untrustedandunworthy.

words in green : try to find an example that is related to topic discussion (business and workplace), you miss the point of discussion so i don't see that the examples you mention are relevant.

try to avoid typo.


... are more experienced for all the lesson s they gathered from their earlier days. They are known to be considerate and wise for they hashave solved problems in life.

... support their children's economy and managingmanaged their own so they are much more responsible.
... ability to adapt to changes, which makes them less creative ...

try to find any case related to old people's experience that specifically helps them in business or job.
example :
older workers have been working in the company for a long time. they have faced both failures and big successes. what they have experienced is essential to make an important decision for a company. hence, a company should take a consideration to not rashly eliminate them.


the last paragraph is too short.
more opinion and explanation about your thesis are recommend.

best regards,
tria25 12 / 19 4  
May 10, 2016   #4
hello Hain,
your writing is really good in grammar and you present many less common words in it. It will help you to get higher score. However, please allow me to give you some suggestion about the arrangement of task 2 in writing IELTS.

1. you should make clear overview shows which part you stand (agree or disagree). that is why it is important to analyze the question first. if the question is only answered partially, it will the score.

2. after deciding either agree or disagree, you should talk about disagree (e.g. if you stand in agree) in the first body paragraph. you have explained it in the really good way. you only need put the conclusion in every body paragraph. if you stand in agree statement, it is better to put your idea in the second body paragraph.

overall, it is a good job. congratulation.

warm regard


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