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IELTS: Young people are not fit for key roles until they are well-trained and mature enough


marisameng 1 / 2 1  
Sep 29, 2014   #1
Some people think younger people are not suitable for important positions in governments of countries. Some think it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are a considerable number of young adults working as government officials in any particular country nowadays. It has triggered a debate on whether these young employees should take more important duties.

To begin with, those who are in favor of allowing young government stuff in higher-level positions might think young talent can speed up the process of the government's digital system reform, as the trend for the huge demanding on high technology in governing the country is inevitable. In this point, younger employees are usually well educated and have a solid academic background in a specific field, which enables them to perform better than their older counterparts when employing computer related facilities. In addition, young adult are known as creative and adventurous, so they are not afraid to break the pattern. On the other hand, while older employees are struggling to cope with the work-life balance; younger officials could devote more time and energy to public services, because they are often without children or even partners.

However, there are also some drawbacks that make the decision of put young people in important positions risky. Firstly, due to a lack of experience and understanding of the whole system, young people might take inappropriate actions when dealing with sensitive and tough issues. Secondly, they are more likely to be incapable of accomplishing tasks. Government duties can be complicated and some can be repetitive, therefore younger stuff can be easily distracted. Besides, young adult do not know how to deal with the pressure generated from some certain chores and eventually, they might quit the job.

From my perspective, young people can bring benefits to governments, although they are not fit for key roles until they are well-trained and mature enough to handle the potential difficulties.

vincentfreeman 7 / 20 2  
Sep 29, 2014   #2
There are a considerable number of young adults working as government officials in any particular country nowadays. It has triggered a debate on whether these young employees should take more important duties.

Your introduction is not good. I suggest you replace some words: young adults -> young people, in any particular country -> in many countries, It has triggered a debate on -> as a consequence, a debate has been triggered on whether .

As in academic writing, you had better use passive form
JessieCarpenter 1 / 10  
Sep 30, 2014   #3
Yes, passive form is better to be used for an academic writing.
bayratak 2 / 4  
Sep 30, 2014   #4
To begin with, those who are in favor of allowing young government staff in higher-level positions might think young talent can speed up the process of the government's digital system reform, as the trend for the huge demanding on high technology in governing the country is inevitable. At this point, younger employees are usually well educated and have a solid academic background in a specific field, which enables them to perform better than their older counterparts when employing computer related facilities. In addition, young adults are known as creative and adventurous, so they are not afraid to break the pattern. On the other hand, while older employees are struggling to cope with the work-life balance; younger officials could devote more time and energy to public services, because they are often without children or even partners.

Good structure!
OP marisameng 1 / 2 1  
Sep 30, 2014   #5
thank you very much


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