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IELTS: Do young people have much greater influence nowadays than it was?


Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
May 29, 2014   #1
Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation.

Why is this the case?

What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?


The modern world made it easier for young people to express their beliefs and thoughts. Advancement of the Internet increased the activity of young people in the life of their community. Hence, it can be said that the youth has a strong influence on the governments and different corporations nowadays. The essay will explain why this practice is the case and show what kind of impact on the relationship between old and young people this situation has.

To begin with, as it was said before, the Internet has opened up certain avenues for young people in terms of political life of the society. Any information or event in one part of the world can easily reach the other, due to the Internet. It seems to make some governments afraid of young net users and accept certain steps to have some control over them. For example, in Turkey, Twitter became very popular among young people who were opposite to the government. This site, as a result, was banned. However, the government of Turkey received some accusations from the EU about human rights abuse. Therefore, it can be said that young people appear to have the power to make them hear.

On the other hand, this influence may affect negatively the relationship between older and younger generations. Young people, because of their nature, tend to express opinions that are not correlated with the hardened views of the older ones. This kind of discrepancy also had a tendency to happen in the past. However, nowadays modern technologies might make this practice more likely to be carried out. Consequently, the gap between the generations may become even wider.

Given the evidence, in the modern world the youth is able to interfere in the public life more freely and affect some events they are not concerned with. Nevertheless, this power has some significant drawbacks.
okdeerpass 5 / 12 2  
May 29, 2014   #2
Hi Shokhusrav,
1. You use the word "youth" for many times. But, I think it should be "...the youth are ...."
2. The conclusion you wrote, ".... in the modern world the youth is (are) able to interfere in the public life more freely and affect some events they are not concerned with. "

Is it should be "....some events they are concerned with." ?
3. I like your usage and word choice. I learned a lot from your essay.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 7, 2014   #3
The modern world made it easier for young people to express their beliefs and thoughts. Advancement of the Internet increased the activity of young people in the life of their community. Hence, it can be said that the youth has a strong influence on the governments and different corporations nowadays.

Well, I think you need to improve the approach for your intro - First begin your intro with a catchy hook that can grab the reader's interest into your writing. This hook statement should be relevant to the topic, meaningful and interesting idea. Then introduce the background of the topic. You can simply do this by paraphrasing the prompt. Then very briefly state why is this and what impact it can have on young people. You need to elaborate those points in your body para, therefore just introduce them very briefly in the intro (no details)
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 10, 2014   #4
Any information or event in one part of the world can easily reach the other, due to the Internet.

Any information or event in one part of the world can be easily reach the other, due to the Internet

also, do not put specific data in your intro, just put them in your body-para to give more explanation


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