Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2

IELTS ESSAY TASK 2: Young people in the modern world seem to have more power


heyatafroz 1 / -  
Feb 8, 2021   #1

powerful and influential young generation



Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. Why is this the case?
What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?


It is true that young generation in the modern era have more power and influence than previous generations due to the benefit of advanced techniques and methods which includes conventional and information technologies. Current technologies have empowered this generation to use these platforms and in turn these have made life easy for any human being. The youngsters of the trending world are loaded with latest skills and out-performing the tasks.

Evidently now a days more and more start-ups have set-up compared to earlier times. In ancient times, to start an organization took a great perseverance to set-up. In earlier times all the work was done manually whether it be the work of getting the passports ready or booking a train ticket. Even to get stuffs the only choice was to order it via a local vendor wherein one had little number of options to choose from. Today, one can purchase things online and it can be delivered in any corner of the world, thanks to Amazon.

Likewise getting a cab in olden days were not an easy task at all and the hassle of paying was another bigger hassle. We don't find those issues anymore as start-up firms like Uber, OLA has made life free from these hurdles.

The power and influential behavior of the current generation has somewhere forgotten to respect the older generations and sometimes these old people are felt ignored. The youngsters of this century somehow considers the skills of previous generation of no use. However we should not forget that the old people also have a great contribution towards the current world without them as well we may have not accomplished this position in the world.

Thanks in advance for the feedback.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3340  
Feb 9, 2021   #2
The original presentation uses the word "seem", which means that the claim is questionable. Therefore, you should not be making the restatement as a fact. Always follow the format of the original presentation which, in this case, is a question rather than a factual opinion. You are in effect, offering an opinion where none is asked for and creating a different slant for the topic presentation in the process. That will affect your TA score in terms of prompt restatement accuracy. Your failure to respond directly to the prompt questions created a different discussion slant in the presentation. This means your restatement is not related to the question being asked. There are 2 questions, neither of which you properly outlined a response to. Therefore, your TA score will not achieve the passing mark for the preliminary scoring consideration.

The reference to "ancient times" is improper in this case. We are only talking of the 20th century, which was only 21 years ago, definitely not "ancient" in "time" consideration. Choose your words carefully. Remember that word accuracy counts towards your LR, GRA, and C&C scores. Just because it sounds appropriate does not mean the word is used in the proper context. Improper word usage affects the clarity and appropriateness of your presentation.

The last part of the essay, the impact on the relationship is not responded to in the proper manner in this essay You have mentioned the discussion point as the conclusion of the essay. The presentation should have been as the 2nd to the last paragraph of the essay. This is a 4 paragraph essay as required, but your presentation does not offer the summary of discussion in the last paragraph as expected. So the essay cannot be considered to have been presented in the proper format. Next time use the last paragraph as the summary presentation. That is standard for all the Task 2 essay presentations, regardless of whether it is a 4 or 5 paragraph discussion presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY TASK 2: Young people in the modern world seem to have more power