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Should young people have the obligation to volunteer for community service when they are available?


liedsieg 2 / 3 1  
Sep 20, 2020   #1
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.

Do you agree or disagree?



Many believe that young people have obligation to volunteer for community service when they are available, which would eventually bring advantages to both the single and the whole society. However, I disagree that we should compel all teenagers to do charitable work.

Most teenagers are students, who have been already under great pressure with their studies. In school, they have many subjects and skills to learn; even after school, they also need to do a lot of homework and practice exercises for exams, let alone some of them have to go to part-time work in order to share household expenses of their families. When young people do have some free time, we should let them relax themselves, or encourage them to explore and develop their own interests. In short, I think their priorities should be their studies and make good preparations for their future life.

At the same time, I have my doubts that our society can gain anything from obliging young people to do unpaid work. If people do good deeds not from the bottom of their hearts, it loses its meaning.

This not only goes against the values of a free and fair security but also leads to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they are just used. We should inspire them to help others willingly, instead of forcing them by moral coercion.

In conclusion, it is wrong that making it mandatory for all teenagers to do unpaid work in their leisure time, and in my opinion they have rights to choose whether they want to do it or not.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Sep 20, 2020   #2
In the opening paraphrase, you should add another 2 sentences that outline your discussion topic. Give the reason for your response as:

However... work. Consider that teenagers face academic obligations that take most of their time, leaving almost no time for them to rest. Society may not benefit from their volunteer service because of the academic stress they face daily.

When you give an outline of the discussion topics, you respond directly to the questions being given in the essay. These are requirements under the TA section because it shows the clarity and support you have for your single opinion within the presentation.

Your first reasoning paragraph is well developed, uses good examples, and provides a clear explanation of the reasons and examples provided. It is a good explanation for your opposition to the suggested community service.

However, the second paragraph that explains why society will not benefit from community service is either ill formatted in this presentation or, you accidentally hit the enter button before you should have. It appears that you have 2 separate paragraphs in response to that question, with neither paragraph being properly developed and explained. It weakened the essay presentation. If you had combined the 2 paragraphs and at the same time, provided a relevant example to illustrate, then this paragraph would have been as well presented as the first, thus boosting your C&C and TA score in the process. That is too bad. It had the potential to be an above average scoring essay. That chance was ruined by the improperly presented second reasoning paragraph.

Your discussion summary / concluding paragraph is a not an effective presentation. It is only a long sentence that does not reiterate the previous discussion points as required by that paragraph format. There is a topic presentation but no reasoning presented in response to the questions (short form presentations of the topic sentences), and no repeat of your personal opinion as required by the presentation.
OP liedsieg 2 / 3 1  
Sep 22, 2020   #3
@Holt
Many thanks for your opinions,
I can't believe I was so stupid to split the 3rd paragraph carelessly, and didn't find it out!
Anyway, thanks a lot.
thaonhi97 2 / 5  
Sep 22, 2020   #4
However, I disagree that we should ... - I was a bit confused on where the response was heading towards the end, I think that including that you're going to be discussing both sides in the thesis would be clear for the reader! But I love your idea and stance on this prompt and I agree with you!


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