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TOEFL---"the young people should plan or organize."


phebe 1 / -  
Jul 22, 2009   #1
Topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Because the modern life is very complex ,the young people should plan or organize.

Can you imagine that a house is built without a plan or a house plan only contains a rendering of the finished product but detailed drawings and descriptions of each of the specific components required to ensure a successful result?Clearly,it is a plan that contributes to the accomplishment of an event or a person.So the young,as I see it,should plan or organize carefully for their life,study,future career in the currently complex society.

To start with,the more detailed the plan is,the more efficient the study or work is.For one ting, so much time do careful arrangements undoubtedly save that the young people can achieve more assignments ,as compared to those who have no planning.According to a recent survey,it can be learnd that students, who have concrete plans for their study ,tend to finish their task by thirty percent less time than others studying desultorily with the same task.For another thing,with a deliberate plan students can immediately adapt their time to changes such as a sudden notice or a temperary class adjustment.The British philosopher--Francis Bacon-said :To choose time is to save time.The plan makes the young students the study or work even daily life more efficient.

In addition,setting goals by planning can be an extraordinarily effective way to enhance the young people's motivation and make sure they will develop the habit of exercise.For example,through planning clear,realistic and including outcomes and ways goals,peolple's self-confidence should increase,helping them to take bigger risks.And also,people achieve the goals they set by making sure that they plan their steps wisely.In the case of losing weight,setting goals, that may be to lose twenty five pounds and to keep to a diet of salads and fruit,are more realistical and easily achievable than chanting empty slogans without any planning.

What's more,no one can absolutely avoid any mistakes in his/her life;however,making prudent plans can drive us to take risks into account and considerate every aspect of the possibility.Thus,facing the competitive and complex society,the young people would not ignore the latent risks and make fewer mistakes rather than those who do not plan.Our society abounds with the example of it.Lee Feng,for instance,is the most notion-wide undergraduate in China,since he sets up his business and becomes the most influent to the society in this year.From the interview of him,it is obvious that he can accomplish his magnificent dream because he made an ambitous plan and before he started his business he considered all kinds of risks and developed corresponding solutions;he admitted that planning is indispensable for his success.

From what has been discussed above,we could safely draw the conclusion that to become more competitive in such a complex society,the young people should plan or organize carefully and comprehensively.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 22, 2009   #2
You often fail to place a space after a punctuation mark. Besides being an error, this makes your essay very difficult to read.
tiantian12 8 / 47  
Jul 25, 2009   #3
Can you imagine that a house is built without a plan or a house plan only contains a rendering of the finished product but detailed drawings and descriptions of each of the specific components required to ensure a successful result?

yes,I have the same question in reading your passage as Simone did. See your first sentence ... 40 words in a sentence.
You should change this situation or it may be become a disadvantage to you.


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