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All young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least the age of 18

roisepham 2 / 2  
Dec 7, 2020   #1


It is believed that full-time education should be compulsory for youngsters until they are 18 years old. While I agree that this policy holds great promises, I do not think all young people should study full-time.

On the one hand, access to full-time education would be of great benefits for children who are under 18 years old. Firstly, full-time education enables students to get an all-round pool of knowledge and skills through a wide range of subjects such as mathematics, science, history and so on which provide students sufficient preparation for future employment. What is more, attending school the whole time prevents youngsters from undesirable materials on the internet. In contrast, children tend to develop violent behaviour due to excessive exposure to violent acts through internet or online games, thereby leading to crime commitment. Therefore, involvement in full-time education would reduce their time wasted on these stuff and lessen social problems.

On the other hand, I believe that not all teenagers should be required to study full-time. First, it is not advisable for children with inborn talents to take full-time education. This is because these children should attend a more suitable training course to nurture their ability rather than learn academic subjects. A boy who is excellent at playing soccer, for instance, should be trained as a professional football player instead of learning academic knowledge until the age of 18. Besides, students whose academic performance is too poor should not access full-time education. Instead, they should be encouraged to leave school and enroll in vocational training programmes to earn their living and support their family.

In conclusion, although I agree that 18-year education system would provide basic knowledge for a child's development, I believe that it is not advisable for all young people.
TuanHarry 2 / 2  
Dec 7, 2020   #2
First and foremost, it seems to me that your argument/supporting ideas are overgeneralising. Are you sure that getting exposed to violent games leads to crime commitment? From my perspective, the fact that children who tend to squander a lot of time on violent games might fight each other easily. By giving this supporting idea, your essay will be more persuasive.

In tandem with this, please be careful with word choice errors in your writing!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,858 4558  
Dec 8, 2020   #3
Always give a proper and direct response to the given discussion question at the end of the first paragraph. Your response does not follow the required format, which means you are providing an unrelated response based on the given topic. Your response should have a measured degree of disagreement with the given statement. You cannot both agree and disagree, as you presented in the response you wrote. That is because there are only 2 extent choices provided. You were not given room to present a comparative discussion, only a single opinion representation. It is this error that created the failing response approach and format for this essay. Next time, make sure that you understand the discussion requirements. Do research. Learn the difference between a single opinion essay and a comparative discussion essay, as required for the Task 2 test. There are clear differences that should help you properly address the essay discussion during your next practice test.

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