Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Young people who take a job before college gain experience and extend communication skills


putri22 33 / 33 5  
Feb 28, 2016   #1
Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.


There is a suggestion that students who have just graduated from high school should be a worker for several years before they go to university. This statement might bring several positive and negative implications for people who do this.

With regard to the benefits that will be experienced by those young people who take a job before go to college, they might find out skills that they will not get in a lecture such as interpersonal skill. By having work experience, they will learn by themselves how to interact with or communicate with their colleagues properly and how to give an opinion to their employer in a good way. Moreover, they will more responsible not only for themselves but also their job. Furthermore, if they have experienced in workplace before continuing their study in university, they are able to give more appreciation and respect their parents since they have felt how difficult to earn money.

On the other hand, this decision may bring some drawbacks. First, people who have finished their study at senior high school are roughly 17-18 years old. At this age, they may not mature enough to enter workplace that might make them feel under pressure due to the new environment. If they cannot handle it, they will be stressed and do not involve in such work again. In addition, taking a job let them to make their own money and cause them to feel comfort with that. As a result, this comfort zone encourages them to not continue their study in higher education.

To sum up, the common believe about taking a job before starting to enrol university definitely brings several advantages and disadvantages for young people.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Feb 29, 2016   #2
Your writing is basically well done. However you need to expand your intro and conclusion....positive and negative implications...

There are several positive and negative implications and they are...

See, if you add what they are you will expand the intro and have a true paragraph.

Also the conclusion.definitely brings several advantages and disadvantages...

and they are...

You need to fill out your conclusion. This will allow you to sum up what you have been saying.

Your examples are good for pro and con. I think if you shape up the first and last paragraph you will have a fine essay!

Just explain what is to come and what has just been, respectively. A classic essay has a proper introduction and conclusion. Unless you go into some detail about what's in the body of the essay, you will nit have fulfilled the classic formula.

Good start!

ef _carol


Home / Writing Feedback / Young people who take a job before college gain experience and extend communication skills