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【TOEFL】 Young people now are more willing to help others than those in the past


Hsinyu 2 / 2  
Aug 22, 2013   #1
Whether young people now are more willing to help others is widely discussed. A great number of people are of the opinion that youngsters are more selfish nowadays, they just care the thing what's happened to them. However, I strongly contend that youngsters nowadays are more aggressive to help others.

The most critical reason for such an assertion is that nowadays, young people are more well-educated, know not to take things for granted, and should help others when they are in need. That is to say, youngsters have abundant knowledge which can give several advices to others. Take as an example, Life science, which is a kind of major which cuts across the boundaries of many different disciplines. Those students who major in life science have to learn various subjects such as biochemistry, virology and posology. Although they are not doctor, students still can use this academic knowledge to teach public how to improve their immune system and recognize the pathogenesis.

Additionally, the advance of technology has let young people nowadays see clearly the inequity of the world, and to whom should they lend a helping hand. To further elaborate, youngsters nowadays are more care about social issue. They devote themselves to civic right, focusing on charitable work in combating poverty and inequality. What's more, nowadays there are a lot of different ways young people can offer help, other than financially. The social media enable youth to pay attention to needy people. For example, if a disadvantaged group asks for help by posting on Tweeter, the information may be forwarded and circulated. Thereby, youngsters, one of the main users of Tweeter, are more willing to help the group. Therefore, with the power of the technology such as internet, people more tend to help others.

In sum, although there may be other dissenting views, we still can safely come to the conclusion that according to the high education proportion and advance of technology, youngsters nowadays are more willing to help others than in the past.

Minions144 2 / 4  
Aug 22, 2013   #2
However, I strongly contend that youngsters nowadays are more aggressive to help others.

I wonder that " aggressive" often is used in the negative meaning

The social media enable youth to pay attention to needy people. For example, if a disadvantaged group asks for help by posting on Tweeter, the information may be forwarded and circulated

enable ==> enables

Therefore, with the power of the technology such as internet, people more tend to help others.

"more tend" mean what, friends

Overall, Well-organised and clearr idea essay, friend.

Just one point that needs to consider is the parallel in structure of sentence.

The most critical reason for such an assertion is that nowadays, young people are more well-educated, know not to take things for granted, and should help others when they are in need

It is hard job, just mention and comment. I fail to make it better for you. :)

Have fun.
alice0209 12 / 18 12  
Aug 23, 2013   #3
A great number of people are of the opinion that youngsters are more selfish nowadays,they just care the thing what's happened to them.They just care about themselves.

You should use period to separate those two sentences.

However, I strongly contend that youngsters nowadays are more aggressive to help others.

I think the word "aggressive" is improper. You can replace it for "willing".

The most critical reason for such an assertion is that nowadays, young people are more well-educated, knowknowing not to take things for granted, and should help others when they are in need.

Take as an example, Life science, which is a kind of major which cuts across the boundaries of many different disciplines.

Take students from life science major for example.

Those students who major in life science have to learn various subjects such as biochemistry, virology and posology. Although they are not doctors , studentsthey still can use this academic knowledge to teach public how to improve their immune system and recognize the pathogenesis.to teach people how to stay healthy.

To further elaborate, youngsters nowadays are more carecares more about social issue.

The social media enables youth to pay attention to needy people. For example, if a disadvantaged group asks for help by posting on TweeterTwitter , the information may be forwarded and circulated. Thereby, youngsters, one of the main users of Tweeter, are more willing to help the group. Therefore, with the power of the technology such as internet, people more tend to help others.People tend to help others more.

Overall, I don't think that your first reason is strong enough. I can't see strong relevance between education level and the willingness of helping people. There are still high-educated people who are indifferent. Maybe you can say that educations now stress more on helping people.

Hope this help:)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 2, 2013   #4
Whether young people now are more willing to help others is widely discussed.

Start with a better hook that gives the reader a punch and grab his attention.Then go onto explain the issue and finally statevyour opinion.

In sum

To sum up

This task has a bearing on time. Have you been able to finish withinthat time?


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