Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Today younger generations are getting married and have kids after the age of 30


kapil098 1 / -  
Oct 17, 2018   #1

Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30.


Has this become a positive or negative development?

Today it has become popular that younger generations are getting married and have kids later in the age of 30. In my opinion, there are some positive and negative effects which shall be elaborated in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Nowadays people are more passionate about their career. They want to build an exquisite lifestyle for their families. Because it is very hard to survive in this era of inflation if you do not have a better job earning with good amount of salary. For this reason, couples postpone the idea of a child at the earlier age and set their mind to achieve their goals and. Moreover, the women empowerment have totally changed now. In the old days, most females have the conservative thinking and culture barrier which had stopped them from doing the job but now the time and thinking have fully changed. Educated women have more awareness about employment opportunities and want to earn by own selves and to complete race with men. For example, in this technological period, women are dominating the males in every sector.

On the other hand, planning a baby in the older age is not always beneficial. Apparently in women, the chances of pregnancy level become decrease with the passage of time. Young couples have more children as compared to the older ones. Furthermore, in the older age different kinds of diseases are growing rapidly like diabetes, high blood pressure etc. so their symptoms are very harmful for the new born babies. For example, a recent survey shows that 45% of the health problems usually found between the ages of 30 to 40 years.

To recapitulate, marriage and family planning are the most pivotal life changing decisions so every youngster should think its outcome before taking an irresponsible decision.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,839 4175  
Oct 18, 2018   #2
Kapil, you must learn to understand the different prompt discussion requirements of the Task 2 essays. All of these are normally single opinion / point of view essays unless otherwise specified by the need to discuss 2 opinions. In this essay prompt, you are being asked to choose only one side of the discussion to represent in the essay. You need to choose one of the two sides to defend in the essay. You cannot discuss both sides of the issue unless you read the following instruction: Discuss both points of view. Without that instruction, you always pick a side to defend in the essay.

That is why the essay that you wrote is not really appropriate for the task that you have been given for the essay. You cannot score more than 4 in my opinion because you failed to use the appropriate format for your response. Add to that your other grammar and sentence structure issues and your score cannot be more than a 4.5. You need to take the time to familiarize yourself with the various writing tasks for this essay, learn the format for responding to it, and then start doing your practice tests. You won't run short of those samples at this forum. There is also advice given per essay that can help you learn how to write better as well. In this case, you made an excellent effort but it just wasn't enough to get you a passing score this time.


Home / Writing Feedback / Today younger generations are getting married and have kids after the age of 30