In my opinion, the punishments for such delinquents should be different from those for adults.
While the opinion of the writer is required, the format used is incomplete. The extent of (dis) agreement must come before the thesis topic.
There are some reasons
Irrelevant discussion. Stick to the given question and offer 2 related and fully developed discussion reasons within the presentation. Discussion alterations such as these are not scored. The word count is reduced and a score is given based on an under-explained or defended opinion. The extent essay is a single opinion consideration rather than comparative. This error will reduce the coherence and cohesiveness of the presentation. Rather, indicate the opening in a way that relates it to the prompt:My point of view is that juvenile delinquents cannot be tried as adults because...
Be factual using a properly framed topic sentence that does not alter the discussion instruction. Justead, it should the part of the explanation from the onset.
I believe that there are better alternatives for juvenile offenders,
Correct approach that should have had another supporting - before or after it to strengthen and completely explain the writer's opinion.