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Youngsters freed from parents as soon as possible. How to judge this?


Michele9 5 / 12 3  
Jul 19, 2015   #1
Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a long time. Which of those situations do you think is better?

Many young adults like living with their parents for longer times. There are several and comprehensible reasons for that. They are spoiled by the mom who keeps on washing their clothes, preparing the meals for them, arranging their bed and so on. Furthermore by continuing to live with their parents, many young adults stand the chance to save money or, anyways, spending them to have fun, go to parties or go on vaction. However, even though this point of view may seem enviable, I would not keep living with my parents any further than passible. And now I am going to tell you why.

First of all, many young adults do not get along with their parents that much. Surely every parent loves his/her son/daughter but if they spend too much time together, they will certainly end up discussing about something. For example I have a friend of mine who since he was a child he has had trouble with his parents. In fact they always wanted him to be the best student in class or the best player in the soccer team. They often put him under pressure and this caused negative consequences on him. For example for a period of time he decided not to come to school and refuted to join any sportive activity. He felt frustrated and he escaped from his house. I am sure that everybody in the situation would not keep living with that kind of parents as a young adult.

Secondly, I personally prefer to live alone. In fact when I lived with my parents I had to respect their house rules. I had to have meals at the hours they wanted, to come back home whenever they wanted and to run daily errands for them that I did want to. In fact the first time I lived alone it was awesome. I lived my life the way I wanted it to be. For instance almost onece a week I organized parties in my apartament regardless of anybody's permission. I felt free and with no strings attached.

Lastly I think that living alone is a good way to grow and become responsible. In fact you have to take care of yourself and of your economies. For example you learn to manage you money and handle difficulties yourself.

In conclusion I think that living alone has more benefits than living with your parents.

EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jul 19, 2015   #2
This is interesting but needs some correction.

point of view may seem enviable...

This could be a separate paragraph on the pros of living at home. First introduce the subject, then present both sides, thenpick a side!

In conclusion...

Your last paragraph should sum up both sides, review all the pros and cons, and then conclude.

Your vocabulary is good, as is the grammar. Just review the form and make the intro and conclusion more the way I said. Revise the intro as just that, and add some sentences to your conclusion. If you present both sides you will have a stronger essay. And if you have five paragraphs it it will be more classic!

ef _carol
Anushaisawesome 1 / 4 1  
Jul 20, 2015   #3
I feel your conclusion can be a little longer. Overall, you had meaningful points but the third paragraph lacked some what in the way you presented your view. It's good that you thought about a personal example but you could have thought of a stronger one. It's like you are suggesting that we get pressure to do things only from our parents and not from teachers, coaches, peers, etc. I feel your example could have been a bit more relavent to a 'parents only problem'. For the sake of formality, I think you can do without the word 'awesome'. Nice try!! Above all, you had good points!
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jul 24, 2015   #4
- They are spoiled by thetheir mom who keeps on washing their clothes,..
- For example I have a friend of mine who since he was a child he has had troubles with his parents ever since .
- For example for("for example" this phrase has been used once and that should be enough) a period of time
- ...and refutedrefused ( I know this is just a typo but be sure to read through your sentences to avoid such mistakes) to join any sportive activity.

- For instance almost oneceonce a week I organized parties in my apartamentapartmentregardlesswithout askingof anybody's permission.
- Lastly I think that living alone ..
- In fact you have to take care of yourself and of your economiesbe economically practical .
- For example yY ou learn to manage you money and handle difficulties yourself.

I agree living alone is still the best way to be independent and be more responsible. Living alone means it's you against all odds, you on your own two feet, yes you can always ask your parents in times were you feel you can't make it anymore but living alone and getting through life on your own is one of the most rewarding thing ever.

Anyhow, I made a few remarks on your essay, I also noticed several typo errors and if you can avoid this that would be great.
Dawn01 19 / 33  
Jul 25, 2015   #5
Hello. Michele9 !!
I'm going to help you with a few parts of your essay:

- And now I am going to tell you why.
I think you don't need this sentence it's clear that you are going to extend your point of view.

-... if they spend too much time together, they will certainly end up discussing about something communicate and interact.

-For example I have a friend of mine who since (You can start directly, you don't need "For example")

-...For exampleF or a period of time

-... to join any sportivesporting activity

Keep practicing:
Good Luck


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