it certainly makes sense for youngster's engagement in some volunteering tasks
This is an incorrect response. The provided discussion instruction pertains to the extent of your (dis) agreement with the given topic. It is obvious that you are in agreement with the discussion points, but how strongly you support the stand is not represented.
I strongly cling to my opinion that
This should have been stated twice. Once in the restatement + opinion, then again, in a different phrasing in the concluding paraphrase. That is how this essay is formatted.
Good job staying on track in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. You were properly focused on defending your opinion. something that will boost your score. The paragraph sentences are well connected with cohesive thoughts and coherent discussions. The transitions are unique and not reliant on textbook liamsition words. Another plus for this essay.