[toefl] Youth do not give enough time to help their society?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. use specific reasons and examples to support your answere.

When human beings first started to build a community, they knew the individual would not stay alive and succeed without other people's assist. Nowadays some people think the youth spent most time for their own success or improvement, rather than helping their society. I do not support that idea; I think if young people try to improve their livings, indirectly they improve their community.

It may look like when the young people try to be successful, he is thinking only of himself rather than other people in his society; it can be correct, but indirectly they affect other people's lives by providing them with knowledge, new skills, and new industries. Consider an engineer trying to build a big factory to be a wealthy man; the factory he is going to build may provide work and opportunity for learning new skills for his workers. Think of a doctor who wants to find a medication healing incurable illnesses to be famous all around the world; He would give health for millions of people. The university professor who uses the student's energy to write papers to be titled as "professor"; in this regards he teaches many skills and knowledge for his students. Even when they just think of themselves, they would help their community. I should say there are many other people who aim to help their community. For instance, I know a doctor who does not get any money from his patients once a week. Or my mother was a teacher; she really put all her energy on educating her students.

People holding the other side, may argue that there are many people who not only does not help their society; but also try to harm it. For example, the drug dealers who sell "Cocaine" or "Mary Juana"; the youth mostly fall prey to them. I would say there are always bad and good people in the society. We cannot eliminate all of them from our societies, what we should do in training the youth to follow the right path.

We all know that personal success lies under the society's success. Better community is not achievable without trying hard.

I think u can use " first of all...second..."to make ur structure more clear.

I think using th actual word assistance would be better.


the you spend most of their time for...


put a period after this one an then start your next sentence.


I am not sure what you mean by livings. Do you mean living environment? this statement is unclear.


this sentence needs a little organization. It seems you are having touble expressing the thoughts clearly. You should start the sentence with Although it appears that when young people try to be successful, they are only thinking of themselves. get rid of other people in the society because you alreay mentioned that in the first paragraph as well as weather it's correct or not. Go on to mention However, they indirectly affect...then continue the thought.

the second part is great, but way too many examples, also you need to decide if you are going to use the generic examples, or the life expirece examples. perhaps you can use one of each..



then go on to say how this helps the society.


this is a great conclusion

e.g.
I assist him to carry out the work / He need my assistance to carry out the work


.... You need to connect this idea with the previous one. I mean, you need to have a proper link between them. So you've got to have a sentence in between these two sentences to set up that connection;

So cooperation among people became an integral part of our civilization where people began to contribute their share to their communities. However, some people argue that today's youth are not seriously consider this social responsibility. ... You need to start introducing your prompt now :)

Very good efforts and comments by raya1001. I hope you pay attention to all the points raya mentioned, and of course the ones that Pahan has suggested too.


.... First, be clear about the reason what you are going to tell... What is the reason here? It's "Selfish" attitude. So, come up with that straight idea;

First, it is evident that young people today have become more selfish in contrast to the youth in the past.
Also, your examples are pretty confusing for me. :(

thank you dear dumi, pahan and raya for your comments.

You're welcome! Do you mind taking a look at my essay as well? Thanks!