Young people know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people
These days, the youth pay more attention to entertainment celebrities than the historic figures of their nations. Reasons behind this trend will be analyzed and several solutions should be proposed to improve the situation.
There are two reasons why young people are more attracted by famous music and movie stars instead of their countries' history. One reason is that social media gives wings to the spread of the fame of celebrities. It is common to notice that their work and live always grab the headlines of magazines, especially the online ones, drawing teenagers' attention toward these topics. Another reason is the tedious teaching method of history in school. Due to the lack of practical activities and learning by heart a great deal of information about historical events, students must experience feelings of boredom and stress.
However, solutions can be proposed to make the youth more intersted about the historical people of their countries. Firstly, movies may be an effective approach to bring history closer to teenagers. Moving images with sound will keep young people's fascinated about the sacrifice of national heroes and heroines in bloody wars, especially those which have their idols to star in. Secondly, the teaching method in history class can be tailored to arouse students' interests. For example, providing the students opportunities to visit museum or historical heritage can diversify their learning activities and thus promote their curiosity and memorization of historical names and events.
In conclusion, in spite of the neglect of young people for historic people of their countries and paying intention to famous celebrities, this trend can be improved by several suggested solutions.
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The prompt restatement is well developed. However, the establishing discussion topics are missing from the opinion statement, thus leaving the examiner without a clear idea as to how the writer plans to connect the 2 discussion references in the discussion paragraphs. It was the weak formatted writer's opinion that created a lower than expected score for that section.
Increased points will always be given to students who show a strong C+C skill in their writing. In this writer's case, his LR ang GRA considerations will be equal in scoring. His C+C score however, could have have a better opportunity to increase his score had he properly formatted the discussion points first.
For increased scoring, he should have opened the first reasoning paragraph with the weakness involved in the way that the historical figures are introduced. Following it up with the strength of celebrity through social media would have shown that the writer used an analytical point of view for his discussion. That presentation format would have been a major plus for the scoring section. The same applies to the solution paragraph. For cohesive considerations, the same information presentation format as the first should have been followed as I suggested. These would have resulted in a maximized C+C scoring consideration.
Overall, the essay is not going to fail since it meets all of the passing score requirements. However, it could have gotten a higher than expected score if certain aspects were presented in a particular manner.