katjawanna, your essay presents a very interesting and highly controversial topic for discussion. The two sides to the issue, as well as your point of view are also good supporting facts. However, all three suffer from under development and grammatical problems. I will present suggestions and corrections below.
Zoos are enjoying an upsurge of popularity among people worldwide, where be considered that are of great meaning and interest that we can benefit from. But as its mercilessness, view of closing it occur. I personally agree that.
- Due to the grammatical problems contained in your introduction, it has become incomprehensible. Let me restate this for you so that you can get a clearer idea of how your introduction should have been presented:Zoos are a popular gathering place for people worldwide. It offers an educational and safe gathering place for families to see animals that normally would be in the wild. These animals are kept in cages in order to entertain and educate people about these various species. However, zoo's are seen as inhumane and barbaric places where animals suffer maltreatment and death at the hands of humans. Therefore, the are two points of discussion that are engaged in the existence of zoo's. One side, feels that animals benefit from being put on display for human study because the animals are protected and prevented from going extinct as they would in the wild. However, the other side feels that zoo's must be closed because it is a cruel place that maltreats animals for the benefit of human entertainment. While both sides have their strong points, I personally believe that zoo's should be closed. This paper will present all sides of the issue, including my point of view, for the reader's education and consideration, leaving the final decision of which side to support, up to the reader.Those who support all the zoos should be closed believe that the animals have always been suffered from mistreating. The poor animals are closed in cages or limited spaces, visited by a huge number of tourists. As the consequence, their no longer belong to the nature and loss their freedom. In addition, the artificial feeding and environments might spoil them cause a series of serious outcomes. For instance, due to the excessive reliance, they might be deprived of basic viability . Last but not least, from those's point of view, zoos exhibit a various of animals with the aim of entertainment and profit.
- Those who oppose the existence of zoo's do so based upon their belief that animals, far from being in a protected habitat, actually suffer at the hands of their human handlers. Living in enclosed spaces that are not similar to their habitat in the wild at all, the animals are on display for tourists to enjoy in their private amazon. These animals lose their natural instincts for survival and forget how to survive in the wild. They lose their nature granted right to freedom. The loss of their natural habitat also causes unseen health complications for the animals. All of the aforementioned reasons are not considered important enough by those who support the existence of zoo's to warrant the consideration that zoo's may not exactly be the best place to care for wild animals. However these are considerations that those who support the closure of zoo's have in mind when advocating for their cause.By contrast, some people believe that the existence of zoos to large extent will protect the rarely endangered animals by providing them alternative habitats. Besides, zoos also are educational , interesting and fun, for scientists, it offer them (specially , zoologists and ethologist etc. ) opportunities to research animals and their behaviors. By visiting zoos, children can obtain the knowledge of a various of animals and cultivate the consciousness of animal protection visually when there are young.
- The importance for zoo's in the point of view of those who believe that zoo's should remain open, rests on the fact that zoo's were originally created to protect animals whose native habitats have been damaged or destroyed by acts of nature and man. In exchange for human protection of these animals, all the zoologists and zoo keepers ask is that they be allowed to observe the animals and people be allowed to see the animals for educational purposes.- The discussion is a bit weak at this point, I suggest you add one more reason to give further credence to the claim that zoo's should remain open.In conclusion, from my perspective, although we can benefit from zoos in some aspects, animals are equal to the human being , which means we have no right to use them for recreation and profit. What's more, the best way to save and protect endangered animals is protecting their natural habitats or creating wildlife conservation.
-Your perspective / point of view cannot be your concluding statement. You cannot present a new idea as a conclusion. Therefore, you should discuss and develop your point of view within 3-5 sentences, creating a new paragraph. Then you can write a separate concluding statement.