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IELTS writing task 2 - zoos are cruel or can be useful. Discuss both view and give opinion

vicz001 3 / 9  
Nov 27, 2020   #1
Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

People have differing views with regard to the question of whether or not zoos need to be maintained. While some say that zoos are merciless and should be closed, I personally believe that they would keep animals safe from extinction. This essay will discuss the two viewpoints.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons why zoos are considered immoral places and should be banned. Firstly, zoos are often aimed to entertain people and earn money from them, which means that zoos held animals not because of conserve, but because of making profits. Secondly, from a moral perspective, many zoos limit the freedom of their animal by providing poor-quality environments and facilities. Research has shown that the house of animals in zoos is far smaller than that of them in nature. This prevents animals from doing daily activities the same way as they do in the wild, which is likely to make them feel depressed and develop mental illnesses.

On the other hand, I would argue that zoos play an integral part in preventing animals from extinction. The fact that excessive hunting and poaching have led to numerous animals' disappearance, which is because their body parts are seen as luxury items and status symbols. Take rhinos as an example, they are killed or held in captivity because their horns are highly valued on the black market, pushing this species to the brink of extinction. As a result, Zoos act as shelters to protect them from poachers and these immoral behaviors.

In conclusion, although some people believe that zoos must be prohibited, I am of the opinion that Zoos can help protect wild animals from extinction.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15043 4827  
Nov 27, 2020   #2
Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. The instructions are very clear. There are 2 public opinions provided in the original prompt. Yet, your restatement only shows one side of the discussion instead of both. Your also said you will discuss both points of view. However, the discussion requirement is both points of view and then, your personal opinion. Review and compare the requirements of the discussion in the original, then compare it to the version that you presented and wrote. You will realize that you failed to meet the discussion requirements overall. This is not the kind of essay that can help you get a passing score. You failed to deliver the requirements on several levels, hence, you may not receive a good score for this presentation. Your mistakes in this presentation are:

- An inaccurate restatement of the prompt topic
- Discussing only 1 of 2 points of view
- A discussion solely based on a personal opinion without an appropriate comparison of the 2 public viewpoints
- An inappropriate concluding paragraph. It does not have the minimum 40 words in the presentation and also, does not summarize the given discussion

Do your best to familiarize yourself with the task 2 discussion types. You need to learn to properly discuss the presentations so that you can achieve a passing score. You have more than enough examples at this forum for you to learn from. You are only confusing yourself by referring to more than one website for your lessons. It is the constant mixing of the various writing styles, as taught by the instructors that is hindering your progress as a student. You will need to choose one website to learn from and stick to that website. Otherwise, you will not be helped by the various lessons, you will only be held back. In fact, I believe that is what is happening to you now. You are being held back from true learning because you are confusing yourself with the various writing styles from different sources. You will never achieve a satisfactory presentation if you continue to do that.
OP vicz001 3 / 9  
Nov 29, 2020   #3
Thank you for pointing out my mistake, I'm fixing it.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 - zoos are cruel or can be useful. Discuss both view and give opinion
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