Graduate / Tell us why you're here...and where you plan to go. Personal Statement for MAC program at UNC [8]

@Holt
Could you please help me take a close look on my revised version? Mainly focus on the ideas and language. Also the current words count is 700+, however, the limit is 500. Thank you!

I have always wanted to make a difference and utilize my competence to make contributions in this rapidly-changing world. More specifically, I want to become a successful investor and philanthropist like Warren Buffett who creates wealth as well as benefited the poor. To accomplish this long-term objective, I understand that the first step I need to take is to become a knowledgeable financial practitioner.

Thus, during my undergraduate study, I chose to study Financial Mathematics and Risk Management with minor in Computer Science, which benefit me to gain an exhaustive insight about financial analytical knowledge and learn using powerful tools to assist me to effectively handle the gargantuan data. With constantly working on academic courses, I grew to perceive the significance of maintaining the rigorous academic style with integrity when we coped with financial problems. More inspiringly, my well-trained logical thinking skill supported my strong learning ability and increased my confidence of pursuing my master's program, which would provide strong theoretical support for future work.

Nevertheless, the deeper my study went, the more I realized the importance of accounting skills in financial analysis. For example, every time I work on my case studies, the major information source is the financial statements and annual reports, because analysis and predictions driving from these accurate data and facts are more reliable. Also, the supplementary notes contain more information such as the company's operating strategy, capital structure and health condition. All of these factors could crucially affect the investment decision.

In the last year, I attended a summer internship in E&Y in Beijing. This internship was meaningful and beneficial to me. Being fully involved in the accounting firm also changed my previous stereotypical opinion about accounting. Moreover, I enjoyed myself in the active and dynamic working environment at there. I did some fundamental analysis to the financial statements, but in the meantime, I realized being able to simply interpret data is far from enough. In addition to calculating, book-keeping and dealing with cash transactions, an outstanding accountant should have a comprehensive insight into the true condition of the company's operations and be capable of providing managerial suggestions and contributing in risk management. Moreover, sometimes the financial statements released to the public might be manipulated due to some reasons. A sharp-sighted analyst should be capable of cutting through the noise and digging out the veritable operation situation of the business. Therefore, recognizing the gap between my current knowledge level and my ambitious aspiration motivates me to study in this program.

With the richness of experience, my career path is becoming more unambiguous. I plan to enter into one of the big four accounting firms upon my graduation of graduate study and will be working hard on passing the CPA test. The time frame I set up for this goal is five years. After that, I will look for an opportunity to work in an investment bank to further develop my professional capacities and gain some valuable experience., In my mid 30s, I plan to establish my venture capital company or act as an individual angel investor to help start-up companies to achieve a keep a steadily and robust growth.

As the co-founder of a rapidly growing student organization in the current size of 300 members, I used to closely collaborate with internal and external partners. This leadership experience cultivates my interpersonal and business communication skill, which will definitely help me lead our team to smooth functioning in completing our group work.

I am well aware that what I need the most to make this picture come true and what I hope to gain from this program is systematic accounting knowledge. Meanwhile, I wish to have the opportunity to meet some prestigious UNC alumni and listen to their stories. I believe that by participating in this program, I will have the chance to meet more people who have similar interests and pursuits with me. I firmly believe that studying in one of the world's top five and most prestigious universities could be the most far-reaching and valuable decision to me. After admitted by this program, I will strive to become a successful investor like my spiritual idol Warren Buffett with what I am going to learn from UNC and my persistence to benefit our society.

Graduate / Tell us why you're here...and where you plan to go. Personal Statement for MAC program at UNC [8]

@Holt
Thanks for your advice. After I done with deletion process, what would you like me to do to better improve this essay?

Undergraduate / To save money. Writing on the explanation of a gap year in commonapp's additional info section. [13]

All of your examples are good, but I would like to focus on one example and talk it more detail. You can tell more about your Soccer experience.

Undergraduate / Doing School by Denise Pope--Students are caught up in a "grade trap" [3]

You essay is good, you could talk more about how this film affects for your high school study.

Undergraduate / How have your extra-curricular activities contributed to your personal development? [5]

@Holt
This application also requires to upload an CV. I elaborately explain the main goal and function for this organization in my CV. So, do you think it is necessary to provide more background about the organization in this essay?

Also, thanks for your professional insight and advice.

Undergraduate / The vast array of research opportunities and many other things that makes Hamilton special for me [6]

@abdulahok
I would like to link these interests with personal experience.

Undergraduate / The vast array of research opportunities and many other things that makes Hamilton special for me [6]

For example, you mentioned the computer science department, you can explain more about it. You want to major in CS? or you are interested in CS?