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A Prolonged Journey for A Genuine Passion (Indonesia Endowment Fund for Education Scholarship)

2 - Do not use revised essays for other applications. These essays are often scanned for plagiarism or submission to...

Scholarshipjakartainrain - 1 day agoHolt - 1 hr ago

"You write, so you exist" - KUAS Admission Essay

2 - The opening statement is out of place. That sort of introduction works better for an application to film school...

Undergraduateblissuueticktack - 2 days agoHolt - 1 hr ago

HER POV OF ME - Recommendation letter for a big scholarship

2 - You cannot use your previous teacher as a reference in this case. You are no longer considered by the...

LettersRaome - 2 days agoHolt - 1 hr ago

Motivation Letter for Erasmus-Mundus Master's program in Sustainable Design, Construction...

2 - The IELTS test is not connected with your academics. The reference to your band score is misplaced in...

LettersMubarokhz - Nov 30, 2024Holt - 1 hr ago

A resilient person - UBC Personal Profile

5 - You could refer instead to how your parents reacted to your desire to help the family financially. How...

Undergraduatehighschlstudent - Nov 29, 2024Holt - 2 days ago

Talent vs hard wordk - IELTS 2

3 - Speaking as someone who took IELTS just a year ago, I think you could improve the writing by expanding...

Writing Feedbackhaiyen221203 - Nov 24, 2024jakartainrain - 2 days ago

Open-minded and empathic - UBC: Tell us about who you are.

3 - I think you should focus on one or two achievements or skills you have that are widely known by...

Undergraduatetsuikirsten - Nov 30, 2024jakartainrain - 2 days ago

"Detail Oriented and Dependable" - UBC application essay: Tell Us About Who You

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback!...

Undergraduatepurinverse - Nov 30, 2024purinverse - Dec 1, 2024

Motivation Letter for Embedded System Design in Hochschule Bremerhaven

3 - @Holt Hi. Thank you for your feedback. I need help with pinpointing exactly what academic path I wish to...

Letterssabeehalam - Nov 27, 2024sabeehalam - Nov 30, 2024

VEX robot - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I believe that you should structure your response with a heavier emphasis on what you actually learned from the...

Undergraduatergdg - Nov 12, 2024highschlstudent - Nov 30, 2024

Statement of Purpose for PhD programme in Chemical Engineering

2 - The reviewer does not care that these programs appeal to you. What matters to him is how you...

Graduateahmed326 - Nov 29, 2024Holt - Nov 30, 2024

Motivation for PhD: Research Academic Journey

2 - Be specific about the type of research that you wish to pursue and what sort of researcher you...

LettersBinnu45 - Nov 28, 2024Holt - Nov 29, 2024

Success - What is important to you? Why? - Personal Profile

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback. Is there anything else that would be worth changing?...

Undergraduatesarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024sarcasticswarley - Nov 28, 2024

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited

2 - The response is too short and will receive word count deductions. You are not even close to the 250...

Writing FeedbackEmmachou1792 - Nov 28, 2024Holt - Nov 28, 2024

Motivation Letter for MSc in Applied Physic at TU Delft

2 - These apply to your research experience, which does not factor into the motivation statement when compared to...

Lettersvattickdrz - Nov 27, 2024Holt - Nov 28, 2024

Should High school education be mandatory?

2 - As a task 2 essay of only 200 words, you can expect to gain an automatic failing score for...

Writing Feedbackanishawriting - Nov 27, 2024Holt - Nov 28, 2024

The Fifth Circuit Court Decision on United States v Smith

2 - The thesis statement was immediately presented in the first paragraph of the essay without any regard for a...

Research Papersric2221474 - Nov 26, 2024Holt - Nov 27, 2024

Mind Chatter (Common App)

3 - I think the story line is good especially the metaphoric interface but it's too abrupt...

UndergraduateTakataka - Nov 25, 2024Blahblah222222 - Nov 26, 2024

Varsity basketball team (responding to a problem) - UBC SAUDER SCHOOL OF BUSINESS

2 - This is a very interesting presentation. This is one of the few times that I have come across this...

Undergraduatesugarcookie - Nov 25, 2024Holt - Nov 26, 2024

Entrepreneurial aspirations - Keio PEARL 2025 Admission : Academic and Future Plans

2 - These are 2 separate essays that should be submitted to the system. You should not be combining them...

Undergraduatekkpia1234 - Nov 25, 2024Holt - Nov 26, 2024

How family courts are failing domestic violence survivors and their families.

2 - Wow! You are opening with a very strong argumentative opinion here. You obviously feel so strongly about the topic...

Writing Feedbackellie1234 - Nov 25, 2024Holt - Nov 26, 2024

UBC Personal Profile - who you are. "I care deeply"

2 - For the first part of this response essay, you should avoid using the first person pronoun in the discussion....

Undergraduateplantpreyer - Nov 25, 2024Holt - Nov 26, 2024

Hardworking, motivated and caring - University of BC Personal Profile

3 - Interesting essay but I think that this could be more engaging with some changes. First, I think that starting...

Undergraduateproco101 - Nov 11, 2024sugarcookie - Nov 25, 2024

USC Graduate Interactive Media Personal Statement - Why interactive media?

4 - Thank you @Holt @woodg for the feedback! I removed the premed info and rewrote the gaps. Thanks again!...

Graduatepotatotush - Nov 9, 2024potatotush - Nov 25, 2024

Motivation letter for Radboud University Artificial Intelligence

5 - Dear Members of the Admissions Committee, Growing up in Nepal, my curiosity about the intricate workings of the human...

Lettersthunderk3g - Oct 20, 2024thunderk3g - Nov 25, 2024

surprised by how much you learned - UOFT ONE IDEA ESSAY ARCHITCTURE

2 - The first paragraph needs to be heavily tweaked. Since you are referencing how you developed a love for ocean...

UndergraduateJszyuan - Nov 24, 2024Holt - Nov 25, 2024

People would always choose a life without work rather than working most of the time. Agree/ disagree

2 - The prompt restatement is confusing. You seem to have suddenly changed the information presentation in the first sentence. Almost...

Writing FeedbackJohn Pham - Nov 24, 2024Holt - Nov 25, 2024

Free theme narrative story (Grim of the schools)

2 - The dialogue is wooden in nature. It is not natural sounding nor does it come across as everyday discussion...

Writing FeedbackEdukid2309 - Nov 24, 2024Holt - Nov 25, 2024

Legal Abortion with Limits: Balancing Choice and Responsibility

2 - The essay needs to have a more interesting backgrounder. The issue of abortion must be presented from both sides...

Research Papersmichelesull - Nov 24, 2024Holt - Nov 25, 2024

University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I agree with Holt, you should restructure the essay for more clarity. It comes off a bit as confusing...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 9, 2024sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024

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