Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by jeff
Joined: Aug 22, 2009
Last Post: Aug 22, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: China

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
jeff   
Aug 22, 2009
Writing Feedback / Do you believe that change is a "good and necessary" thing? [5]

Why the human civilization can develop very fast? The answer is we always change ourselves. Whether the change is as fundamental as the shift from an agricultural society to a science and technology society or one as trivial as the change in fashion there is no doubt that the change is the most constant thing and plays an important part throughout the history. Clearly, change is a good and necessary thing.

Without a change, the things surrounding us will not appear such as car, airplane and also computer. In nineteenth century, when the industrial revolution begun, the science and technology has grown quickly so that the regime can shift from an agricultural society to a science an technology society. Because the industrial revolution, people's life and their mind had changed a lot; the steamer machine instead of the handicraft industry so that more productions were made than before; Thus, the change plays an important part in our life. Without a change, maybe we are still in agricultural society.

Change not only can make a mighty country, but also can make a person successful. The precedent of U.S.A Barack Hussein Obama is such an example. When he was a child, he lived with his grandma. Because he is a Negro so that he has less friend and many student did not want to speak to him. He felt very lonely and depression at life. It is her mother who changed Obama's attitude to life and let Obama felt happy to help other. Then, he studied hard so that Colombia University had accepted him. After he graduated from college. That he invested a lot of time in community service let him got a lot of countenances in precedent election. A trivial change can have a big influence. Obama is such an example. It is a little change that let him succeed.

As Obama said in a speech 'we always need a change'. In general, change plays an important part in our life. Without a change, human civilization will not develop very fast; without a change, we still in agriculture society; only if we change can we succeed; only if we change, can we have a happy life. That's why change is a good and necessary thing.

This is my first time to write essay, I am not a native english speaker, so I wish you could give me some opinion about this essay. Thanks a lot.
jeff   
Aug 22, 2009
Writing Feedback / Do you believe that change is a "good and necessary" thing? [5]

thank you for your opinion! I will work on grammar and word choice.

I'm not clear what you are saying here. What "small change" allowed Obama to succeed?

He change his attitude to life by his morther.

I'm sure that you mean "presidential" election, but I cannot guess what you mean by your use of the word "countenance." I'm guessing that you saw the word in a translator or thesaurus. Before using a new word, be sure to read all of its definitions and associations in a dictionary. If in doubt, use a simpler word that you know well.

I means "support".

I really appreciate if you could kindly help to point out the problems regarding grammar mistakes.

Could you please give me a mark that this SAT essay have? Thanks a lot.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳