Johnny Nguyen
Aug 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] CLASSMATES WIN HANDS DOWN ON THEIR INFLUENCE ON CHILDREN'S SCHOOL SUCCESS! [3]
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are more important influence than parents on a child's success in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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At the time children attend school, they are so impressionable that many different factors can act upon them, including parents and classmates. While some hold that parents contribute mainly to the children's school success, some refute by claiming classmates exert more influence than parents on a their success. In my opinion, children are more under influence from classmates than parents in terms of their overall school achievements.
First of all, getting some advice from classmates is more convenient than from parents. The fact boils down to the existence of age gap. Parents, who are times older than their children, can get over-critical of their children's problems. It is mainly because they have no instant idea of how to tackle them as they experienced the problem so long ago. Meanwhile, turning for class fellows for consultancy seems more flexible. They are mostly at the same age, and they might have overcome such problems in recent times that they know immediately how to deal with them. Besides, classmates know clearly that they are in the period of accumulating experiences. That is the reason why they are not critical of our problems as some of the parents might do. To illustrate, take a close look at my cousins. When he confronted an issue on whether to join a club at school, he showed no willingness to talk about it to their parents because he was afraid that his parents would deter him. He, however, had a great conversation with his friends about it. The result was, indeed, far from astounding: He eventually got into the club, and his parents was highly convinced by his persuasion which was also prepared by his classmates that they allowed him to join the club.
Secondly, children tend to have more daily contact with classmates than with parents. The majority of children these days has to spend more than half of their day at school to fully cover the level of knowledge that they are required to accomplish. It means although they have more lessons, they also have more short intervals between lessons to unwind and hang out with friends. In the long run, as they have hung out long enough with their friends, they will develop a close tie. Being close-tied may make them passively and unintentionally imitate some, either good or bad, habits from each other. Undoubtedly, this can possibly heavily afflict with their attitudes towards studying, depending on what kind of classmate they befriend. On comparison, it is evident that parents exert less influence on the study progress of their children, however parents spend on tutoring them. As a matter of fact, some of the parents have not even come home by the time their children are back for the sake of their workloads. To illustrate, an experiment was conducted by the University of Chicago on the amount of time parents spend with their kids compared to their classmates. The researchers pointed out that most children are with their parents approximately 2 times less than with their classmates. Concerning the overwhelming amount of time that classmates have on a child, it is safe to say that classmates have a considerable impact on the school success of children, as well as their schooling progress.
In the final analysis, classmates have a greater influence on children's school success than parents do. Classmates contact face-to-face with children more frequently on a daily basis than parents, and getting advice from classmates is more flexible than from parents.
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THIS IS MY VERY FIRST ESSAY, SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LEAVE ME SOME FEEDBACK, SO I CAN IMPROVE MY WRITING STYLES! THANK YOU!
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are more important influence than parents on a child's success in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
big impact of classmates on other kids at school
At the time children attend school, they are so impressionable that many different factors can act upon them, including parents and classmates. While some hold that parents contribute mainly to the children's school success, some refute by claiming classmates exert more influence than parents on a their success. In my opinion, children are more under influence from classmates than parents in terms of their overall school achievements.
First of all, getting some advice from classmates is more convenient than from parents. The fact boils down to the existence of age gap. Parents, who are times older than their children, can get over-critical of their children's problems. It is mainly because they have no instant idea of how to tackle them as they experienced the problem so long ago. Meanwhile, turning for class fellows for consultancy seems more flexible. They are mostly at the same age, and they might have overcome such problems in recent times that they know immediately how to deal with them. Besides, classmates know clearly that they are in the period of accumulating experiences. That is the reason why they are not critical of our problems as some of the parents might do. To illustrate, take a close look at my cousins. When he confronted an issue on whether to join a club at school, he showed no willingness to talk about it to their parents because he was afraid that his parents would deter him. He, however, had a great conversation with his friends about it. The result was, indeed, far from astounding: He eventually got into the club, and his parents was highly convinced by his persuasion which was also prepared by his classmates that they allowed him to join the club.
Secondly, children tend to have more daily contact with classmates than with parents. The majority of children these days has to spend more than half of their day at school to fully cover the level of knowledge that they are required to accomplish. It means although they have more lessons, they also have more short intervals between lessons to unwind and hang out with friends. In the long run, as they have hung out long enough with their friends, they will develop a close tie. Being close-tied may make them passively and unintentionally imitate some, either good or bad, habits from each other. Undoubtedly, this can possibly heavily afflict with their attitudes towards studying, depending on what kind of classmate they befriend. On comparison, it is evident that parents exert less influence on the study progress of their children, however parents spend on tutoring them. As a matter of fact, some of the parents have not even come home by the time their children are back for the sake of their workloads. To illustrate, an experiment was conducted by the University of Chicago on the amount of time parents spend with their kids compared to their classmates. The researchers pointed out that most children are with their parents approximately 2 times less than with their classmates. Concerning the overwhelming amount of time that classmates have on a child, it is safe to say that classmates have a considerable impact on the school success of children, as well as their schooling progress.
In the final analysis, classmates have a greater influence on children's school success than parents do. Classmates contact face-to-face with children more frequently on a daily basis than parents, and getting advice from classmates is more flexible than from parents.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THIS IS MY VERY FIRST ESSAY, SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LEAVE ME SOME FEEDBACK, SO I CAN IMPROVE MY WRITING STYLES! THANK YOU!