Undergraduate / Common App essay on swearing (Prompt #1) A Funking Piece of Ship [4]

I'd suggest switching around the order of the first paragraph. I think starting with the first sentence being something like "Up until ___, I prided myself on..." might be more of a 'hook'- but I agree that the title is great!!!

"As trivial as it may be, it remains unchanged..." Is "it" your refusal to swear? or your family value? It was a little vague but a really nice point, especially when tied in with the physics part.

I think the last two sentences are super great and really wrap this up nicely!

these are just some suggestions that I think might add some clarity or spruce it up
"I, amongst most, have great respect for the..." I'd suggest either deleting or rephrasing for clarity (maybe "like most")

"yet I still felt bad for swearing" (add still)