Scholarship / My Post Career Plan when I come back to my Country - Kenya [4]

Your essay is way much more organised with a clear perspective than mine. I would say it is an effective essay because of the way you've linked your country and UK and the description of each goal in clear sense .

@barkha

Scholarship / English language course application essay BS Computer Science [3]

There are so many grammatical errors and sentence structure is incorrect especially second paragraph on wards.
I loved the study style of USA here explain the style and what has attracted you the most .
I would recommend you to write an effective essay as this is quite generic and not convincing enough .

Scholarship / Leadership essay - I want to climb up the ladder to lead toward the economic development [6]

thank you @Holt and @dfwm for your precious time to critically analyse my essay. I will work on it as per your words

Scholarship / Leadership essay - I want to climb up the ladder to lead toward the economic development [6]

Merged:

Chevening essay on Leadership

Kindly take some time to critically analyse my essay.Thank you

Chevening essay on Leadership

Leadership to me is the ability to understand and empower others to the betterment of themselves.
Ever since I was elected as an office bearer (2015-2016) for the English Literary Society in college, I used my organizing and management skills to arrange successful programmes and events and to leave my fellow batch mates and the English Literary society pleased and influenced with my work. Moreover, as a Trainer in Call Mobility Pvt.Ltd which is the sole National distributor of Huawei, I had the ability to influence and mould my company workers from entire Nepal. I call that moment as the 'ice breaker' moment of my life because I not only had left the trainees and staff motivated but I got an amazing compliment from my boss who patting me said, "We are proud to have you here". I remember Mr.Roshan, the Marketing Head, coming up to me and saying, "You left me totally surprised. Never did I imagine you would turn the training camp so effective and fun. Way to go!" I improved the sale effectiveness, office livelihood and team work through leading training sessions in the effective sales, team building and leadership sector. My greatest accomplishment as a Trainer is helping the Head of Sales, Mr Deepak (who personally asked me to help him get rid of stage fear), face his fear of standing on the stage and is now successfully helping his sales team. Furthermore as a teacher at AksharVidya Mandir, I definitely left my students as well as the teachers influenced with my work. Not only did I just teach but I was even selected as a Captain to lead a specific team of students and teachers. My team won 3 different inter team competitions thrice in a row. It was immensely a group work and as the captain of my team, I left no stones unturned to keep them motivated and excited for every competition. This position surely made me stand out from my fellow colleagues in the school.

Likewise while volunteering with Raleigh International, I was an active speaker in the communities where I led the village on WASH topics like, menstrual hygiene and 7 steps of Hand Wash. Lastly, as a facilitator I organized 2 days training session on "Advancing Adolescents Health, Participation and Well-Being" in my municipality (Janakpur) for the frontline workers which was supported by Yuwalya and UNICEF. The feedback left me overwhelmed especially the one by the mayor, Mr.Lal Kishor Sah, who said to me, "Young people like you leave adults and other youth influenced by the development work you do for the municipality". This clearly signifies that my leadership and influence will be effective and beneficial to the institution that I aspire to become part of such as the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.