Natasha_Crosslog
Apr 9, 2023
Writing Feedback / An essay on the benefits and drawbacks of online learning [2]
Hello, I am currently in seventh grade and I'm trying to improve my academic writing skills. I wrote the following essay to practice. Could you please read and give feedback on it? The prompt of the essay is
Explore the pros and cons of virtual education and its impact on students, teachers, and the learning environment
Mistakes I'm trying to improve:
- Awkward, casual wordings.
- Grammar.
- Punctuation.
Thanks.
During the pandemic, online learning had been made familiar to us. Even some teachers have to admit, they miss teaching from home. However, learning online isn't all sunshine and daisies. Let's look at the benefits and drawbacks of virtual learning listed in this essay.
Online learning is astoundingly convenient. It can change your daily routine dramatically. For example, you don't have to wake up early for fear of missing your bus or being late for work/school. All you need to do is wake up anytime you want before school or work starts, do your morning routine - if you have one, fire up your laptop, and join a Zoom link.
Second, it saves you time and energy. If you are a cyclist, or you cycle to work or school, online learning/teaching might change that. You don't need to use your muscles to cycle to school/work, and then use your leg muscles again to climb the stairs up to your floor.
My last pro mechanic is associated with my first and second ones. It saves you your money for gas - if you use vehicles that need it. As you already know, the Russian-Ukrainian war has increased the price of gas cost up to an arm and a leg per full tank (according to, of course, an average Vietnamese adult). Virtual learning helps with the country's people's economy.
Learning online has its convenience. And then the antonym for ease comes. Virtual learning does not help with the power bills. There is no stopping electricity usage from going up the hill. And for countries who can't afford solar power or wind power, well, that's a "goodbye" green atmosphere for them. Condolence.
Besides, online learning is extremely ineffective, because the teachers have no control over their students. Have you any idea what the pupils were up to? Scholars were skipping classes, playing games during lessons, and even distracting the class by LAYING IN A HAMMOCK, making very appalling faces (personal experience). Then, noises from home are also very distracting. You can't learn or teach anything when your neighbor's home is being renovated!
Additionally, classes such as music, swimming, and physical education are extremely low in quality compared to other subjects. Moreover, the internet/WIFI is an important factor in effective online learning. If your WIFI is bad, you and your teacher cannot get messages across to each other - your voices will glitch. FURTHERMORE, no physical contact was made, as well as conversations outside lessons. Even with parents around, we students still feel very lonely with no one to talk to.
We finally conclude: Online learning is favorable, but it is not effective. And ineffective education is like rinsing your hands - the droplets slide down your skin into the sink. Your skin can't absorb it. My point is: online learning has more drawbacks than benefits.
Hello, I am currently in seventh grade and I'm trying to improve my academic writing skills. I wrote the following essay to practice. Could you please read and give feedback on it? The prompt of the essay is
The Benefits and Drawbacks of Online Learning:
Explore the pros and cons of virtual education and its impact on students, teachers, and the learning environment
Mistakes I'm trying to improve:
- Awkward, casual wordings.
- Grammar.
- Punctuation.
Thanks.
During the pandemic, online learning had been made familiar to us. Even some teachers have to admit, they miss teaching from home. However, learning online isn't all sunshine and daisies. Let's look at the benefits and drawbacks of virtual learning listed in this essay.
Online learning is astoundingly convenient. It can change your daily routine dramatically. For example, you don't have to wake up early for fear of missing your bus or being late for work/school. All you need to do is wake up anytime you want before school or work starts, do your morning routine - if you have one, fire up your laptop, and join a Zoom link.
Second, it saves you time and energy. If you are a cyclist, or you cycle to work or school, online learning/teaching might change that. You don't need to use your muscles to cycle to school/work, and then use your leg muscles again to climb the stairs up to your floor.
My last pro mechanic is associated with my first and second ones. It saves you your money for gas - if you use vehicles that need it. As you already know, the Russian-Ukrainian war has increased the price of gas cost up to an arm and a leg per full tank (according to, of course, an average Vietnamese adult). Virtual learning helps with the country's people's economy.
Learning online has its convenience. And then the antonym for ease comes. Virtual learning does not help with the power bills. There is no stopping electricity usage from going up the hill. And for countries who can't afford solar power or wind power, well, that's a "goodbye" green atmosphere for them. Condolence.
Besides, online learning is extremely ineffective, because the teachers have no control over their students. Have you any idea what the pupils were up to? Scholars were skipping classes, playing games during lessons, and even distracting the class by LAYING IN A HAMMOCK, making very appalling faces (personal experience). Then, noises from home are also very distracting. You can't learn or teach anything when your neighbor's home is being renovated!
Additionally, classes such as music, swimming, and physical education are extremely low in quality compared to other subjects. Moreover, the internet/WIFI is an important factor in effective online learning. If your WIFI is bad, you and your teacher cannot get messages across to each other - your voices will glitch. FURTHERMORE, no physical contact was made, as well as conversations outside lessons. Even with parents around, we students still feel very lonely with no one to talk to.
We finally conclude: Online learning is favorable, but it is not effective. And ineffective education is like rinsing your hands - the droplets slide down your skin into the sink. Your skin can't absorb it. My point is: online learning has more drawbacks than benefits.