Thang2910
Jun 23, 2024
Writing Feedback / Smoking - Writing task 2: Topic- Social issues [2]
Question: In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
My essay:
Many believe banning smoking in public areas in various nations is reasonable. This essay agrees with this statement because smoking is harmful to humans' health and it can be a bad example for children.
Smoking should be banned in public places because it can do harm to humans. Non-smokers are likely to suffer from lung diseases caused by smoking like lung cancer due to unwanted breathing in other people's cigarette smoke. This can be resolved by prohibiting smoking in public areas, which limits passive smoking and forces smokers to give up their harmful habits gradually. Therefore, the community's health can be improved and smokers' loved ones would be able to worry less about their health. For example, after Vietnam decided to hang on 'no smoking' symbol on the walls of all indoor workplaces, there was a considerable decline in lung cancer and other lethal diseases among restaurant and pub workers.
Another reason why this ban is warranted is the fact that it helps prevent smoking from influencing children's behaviours. Teenagers are easy to follow any actions of others even when these actions are illegal. Not allowing smoking in public areas is essential to limit adolescents' exposure to this so that they can avoid forming a new harmful habit, which would cause suffering to both their parents and themselves. For instance, in Vietnam, the rate of smoking among children has decreased significantly since governments banned smoking in schools, parks and other places where children usually visit.
In conclusion, I believe that smoking should not be allowed in public areas because it can influence teenagers' behaviors and cigarette is a hazardous product.
Please give me the band score for 4 criteria and advice. Thank you!
Question: In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
My essay:
Many believe banning smoking in public areas in various nations is reasonable. This essay agrees with this statement because smoking is harmful to humans' health and it can be a bad example for children.
Smoking should be banned in public places because it can do harm to humans. Non-smokers are likely to suffer from lung diseases caused by smoking like lung cancer due to unwanted breathing in other people's cigarette smoke. This can be resolved by prohibiting smoking in public areas, which limits passive smoking and forces smokers to give up their harmful habits gradually. Therefore, the community's health can be improved and smokers' loved ones would be able to worry less about their health. For example, after Vietnam decided to hang on 'no smoking' symbol on the walls of all indoor workplaces, there was a considerable decline in lung cancer and other lethal diseases among restaurant and pub workers.
Another reason why this ban is warranted is the fact that it helps prevent smoking from influencing children's behaviours. Teenagers are easy to follow any actions of others even when these actions are illegal. Not allowing smoking in public areas is essential to limit adolescents' exposure to this so that they can avoid forming a new harmful habit, which would cause suffering to both their parents and themselves. For instance, in Vietnam, the rate of smoking among children has decreased significantly since governments banned smoking in schools, parks and other places where children usually visit.
In conclusion, I believe that smoking should not be allowed in public areas because it can influence teenagers' behaviors and cigarette is a hazardous product.
Please give me the band score for 4 criteria and advice. Thank you!