hann130002
Jul 7, 2024
Writing Feedback / Reasons and effects of income disparity between celebrities and politicians nowadays (IELTS task 2) [2]
Nowadays, celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
It is an indisputable fact that in today's society, celebrities receive higher income compared to those pursuing a career in politics. This state of affairs is ascribed to a number of reasons and it could negatively take a heavy toll on the social state and public awareness.
Two main factors are to blame for politicians earning less money than celebrities. Chief of these is that politicians are often remunerated with fixed and consistent salaries offered by particular national authorities. This can be seen in developing and impoverished countries like Vietnam and South Sudan, where individuals following a career in politics, usually receive a meager income since the often strained national budget cannot be allocated sufficiently to their payment. Additionally, along with the proliferation of media, many well-known figures have an extensive influence on their fans, making global brands or companies such as Gucci or Samsung willing to invest a staggering amount of money in the endorsement of these celebrities to elevate their profile and identity.
I believe that this vast income gap is a negative development as it can exacerbate the problem of social inequalities and detrimentally affect public conception. As for the former, politicians with a vast reservoir of academic prowess sometimes struggle with living expenses, whereas famous figures can earn many times their salaries, which can instill a sense of resentment in them. Furthermore, this trend might lay the ground for a universal misconception that it is not worth getting high academic backgrounds to pursue an occupation that is paid less than just a famous person. For instance, many school-leavers are more inclined to stop their study with the thinking that further education or academic expertise is no longer essential in this society.
In conclusion, the income disparity between the two careers can be attributed to the shortcomings of governmental remuneration system as well as immersive effects of well-known individuals and its impacts would lie in increased social inequalities and a distorted public worldview.
(I am currently preparing for the IELTS examination so I would be really glad if you can give me a recommended score, grammatical or vocabulary errors and some suggestions for my essay. Thank you very much for reading and for helping me.)
Nowadays, celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
It is an indisputable fact that in today's society, celebrities receive higher income compared to those pursuing a career in politics. This state of affairs is ascribed to a number of reasons and it could negatively take a heavy toll on the social state and public awareness.
Two main factors are to blame for politicians earning less money than celebrities. Chief of these is that politicians are often remunerated with fixed and consistent salaries offered by particular national authorities. This can be seen in developing and impoverished countries like Vietnam and South Sudan, where individuals following a career in politics, usually receive a meager income since the often strained national budget cannot be allocated sufficiently to their payment. Additionally, along with the proliferation of media, many well-known figures have an extensive influence on their fans, making global brands or companies such as Gucci or Samsung willing to invest a staggering amount of money in the endorsement of these celebrities to elevate their profile and identity.
I believe that this vast income gap is a negative development as it can exacerbate the problem of social inequalities and detrimentally affect public conception. As for the former, politicians with a vast reservoir of academic prowess sometimes struggle with living expenses, whereas famous figures can earn many times their salaries, which can instill a sense of resentment in them. Furthermore, this trend might lay the ground for a universal misconception that it is not worth getting high academic backgrounds to pursue an occupation that is paid less than just a famous person. For instance, many school-leavers are more inclined to stop their study with the thinking that further education or academic expertise is no longer essential in this society.
In conclusion, the income disparity between the two careers can be attributed to the shortcomings of governmental remuneration system as well as immersive effects of well-known individuals and its impacts would lie in increased social inequalities and a distorted public worldview.
(I am currently preparing for the IELTS examination so I would be really glad if you can give me a recommended score, grammatical or vocabulary errors and some suggestions for my essay. Thank you very much for reading and for helping me.)