xoeyielts
Oct 4, 2024
Writing Feedback / Communications between different parts of the world [2]
Please mark this for me according to ielts writing task 2 descriptors:
Prompt:
In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
Essay:
The advent of airlines and telecommunications has revolutionized the way individuals and nations interact with one another. From my perspective, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, the introduction of new means of interaction can foster cultural understanding. Specifically, due to increased mobility via airlines, individuals can now engage in international tours, offering an unparalleled opportunity to broaden their horizons about various cultures and ways of life. For instance, travelers can have hands-on experience by trying local delicacies or partaking in numerous festivals and cultural events. This exposure can assist people in adopting a more tolerant and respectful attitude towards other cultures, avoiding subjective judgment and stereotypes about other countries.
Moreover, this innovation can also lead to economic development. The inception of aviation has eliminated concerns about geographical barriers, enabling people to reach a range of destinations effortlessly. This incentivizes individuals to embark on journeys to different parts of the world, which promotes tourism. Furthermore, businesses can also utilize social media platforms, namely Facebook or Instagram, to promote their products, as well as connect with a wider range of consumers without incurring additional costs.
However, one notable drawback of this shift is the demand for adaptability. In order not to be left behind, it is paramount for countries to construct airports, equipped with up-to-date facilities and advanced infrastructure, to establish a global network. Additionally, it is equally crucial to develop an optical fiber system and conduct regular checks, ensuring high-speed internet access to remote areas. These practices demand substantial investment, which puts a fiscal strain on less developed countries.
In conclusion, despite requiring a great governmental budget, I still believe that the development of the airline industry and telecommunications yields more benefits as it contributes to beneficial rapports between countries, a deeper understanding of other cultures, and a more thriving economy.
Please mark this for me according to ielts writing task 2 descriptors:
Prompt:
In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
Essay:
The advent of airlines and telecommunications has revolutionized the way individuals and nations interact with one another. From my perspective, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin with, the introduction of new means of interaction can foster cultural understanding. Specifically, due to increased mobility via airlines, individuals can now engage in international tours, offering an unparalleled opportunity to broaden their horizons about various cultures and ways of life. For instance, travelers can have hands-on experience by trying local delicacies or partaking in numerous festivals and cultural events. This exposure can assist people in adopting a more tolerant and respectful attitude towards other cultures, avoiding subjective judgment and stereotypes about other countries.
Moreover, this innovation can also lead to economic development. The inception of aviation has eliminated concerns about geographical barriers, enabling people to reach a range of destinations effortlessly. This incentivizes individuals to embark on journeys to different parts of the world, which promotes tourism. Furthermore, businesses can also utilize social media platforms, namely Facebook or Instagram, to promote their products, as well as connect with a wider range of consumers without incurring additional costs.
However, one notable drawback of this shift is the demand for adaptability. In order not to be left behind, it is paramount for countries to construct airports, equipped with up-to-date facilities and advanced infrastructure, to establish a global network. Additionally, it is equally crucial to develop an optical fiber system and conduct regular checks, ensuring high-speed internet access to remote areas. These practices demand substantial investment, which puts a fiscal strain on less developed countries.
In conclusion, despite requiring a great governmental budget, I still believe that the development of the airline industry and telecommunications yields more benefits as it contributes to beneficial rapports between countries, a deeper understanding of other cultures, and a more thriving economy.