Writing Feedback / Obese people overwhelm the healthcare system? - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing trend of obese people is pressuring the healthcare system due to health disorders. Some argue that the most effective measure is adding extra physical training sessions. In my opinion, I completely agree with this solution because it not only stimulates students' eagerness but also promotes their physical strength.

One of the primary benefits of the introduction of more PE lessons is improved student engagement. Instead of following traditional methods, applying this new policy can create a refreshing approach, thereby encouraging learners to participate in sports games and physical activities. By doing these activities regularly, students can burn fat during the process, helping them enhance their flexibility. For example, many classes in Japan allow students to take part in numerous physical lessons, which is helpful for stress relief and burning off surplus fat. As a result, schools can alleviate the proportion of obesity and illness in students.

Additionally, the growing number of PE lessons can also foster students' physical well-being. By having access to novel knowledge related to physical health transferred by their teachers, learners can construct a good training session, which is a fundamental basis for keeping fit. For instance, providing more PE classes in Vietnamese schools gives students more opportunities to play sports, which helps students build good habits and cultivate a lasting interest in physical activities. Therefore, it makes them avoid a sedentary lifestyle along with chronic diseases, and contributes to a healthy physique.

In conclusion, organising more PE classes can pave the way for boosting their participation and sustaining healthy physical condition. Due to its key advantages, I totally advocate for this solution.

I am looking forward to your support!!!
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility? - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

Environmental damage is the problem of most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

Nowadays, environments in many nations suffer from destruction, which has become one of the most serious problems in these countries. This stems from the industrial era and a lack of awareness among people about preserving natural habitats. Therefore, governments are accountable for implementing solutions such as shifting to green energy and improving citizens' perception.

There are two significant causes of environmental damage, including industrialization. This era requires a large amount of energy for the economy's improvement; however, the main source of energy is fossil fuel, including coal, which can generate a ton of exhaust gas and contaminants. For example, an average energy-generating plant in Vietnam uses millions of tons of coal annually. As a result, the surrounding areas are becoming polluted over time by the gas emissions and industrial waste from this company. Besides, people's unawareness is a great contributor to this problem. Due to the lack of education, individuals can easily damage the natural habitats. To illustrate, in some mountainous regions in Vietnam, people often burn forests to create farmland, leading to the migration of animals. Thereby, their activities result in the loss of biodiversity.

To address this problem, governments should switch to renewable energy sources . They can formulate laws and policies related to the consumption of green energy to encourage citizens to use more sustainable energy, such as biogas. To be specific, the UK's authorities will impose strict penalties if citizens disobey the energy laws; nevertheless, if people follow the regulations, they can receive financial aid from the government's funds. As a result, many people have switched to renewable energy sources, which contributes to a greener country. Moreover, governments should also provide individuals with adequate education on how to preserve the environment. By organising more online courses about the importance of protecting ecosystems, people can have a fresh perspective about conserving their surrounding environment.

In conclusion, the industrial period and the lack of residents' perception are the two major factors leading to environmental destruction in numerous countries. Hence, governments need to hold a special place in tackling this problem by encouraging renewable energy and raising people's awareness.

I am looking forward to your advice.
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / Various household goods between 2001 and 2008 - Dynamic bar chart - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

The graph shows the percentage of households in one country that had various goods between 2001 and 2008.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of 8 distinct items used by households in a single nation from 2001 to 2008.

Overall, most categories saw an upward trend throughout the period, except for telephone use. The most significant gap was in the percentage of households that had mobile phones.

In terms of the first five predominant groups, the rate of telephone usage, which was the highest figure at the beginning, experienced a slight decline of 5% by 2008. Additionally, in 2001, the proportion of households with a microwave was 10% higher than that of CD players, but by 2008, both figures had risen to 90%. During the same period, the share of households owning mobile phones increased fourfold, while the total number of home computers doubled.

Concerning the remaining categories, there was a marginal climb of one-tenth in the number of clothes dryers in households from 2001 to 2008. Furthermore, while only 10% of families had access to the Internet and dishwashers in 2001, both items became much more common by 2008, with figures climbing to 60% and 40%, respectively.
(180 words)

I aim for a solid 6.5 in both writing tasks 1 and 2. Can you evaluate my essay so that I can estimate my current level?
I appreciate to your help.
Mr Calma

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Writing Feedback / No need to go to watch live performances? - Opinion Essay - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

These days, there's no need to go to watch live performances (eg. a show or a concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screens is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past few decades, individuals have prioritised watching live performances via digital devices over attending them in person. In my opinion, I strongly advocate for this statement due to its convenience and more affordable price.

One of the fundamental benefits of watching live shows online is the convenience. Nowadays, modern technology provides high-quality images and keeps up with the fast-paced motions to support viewers in keeping track of the performance. People no longer need to travel long distances to watch the show offline; instead, they can stay at home and enjoy it on a streaming service. For example, many Vietnamese can watch numerous international Black Pink concerts on YouTube on their TVs, which helps immerse them in the experience without spending time travelling to the destination where the event takes place. Therefore, watching performance online via digital equipment can help save time.

Beyond the time-saving benefits, another primary advantage of enjoying live performances online is lowering expenses. Many live performances require an entrance fee for the audience. In contrast, watching online is often free, although a few platforms may charge a much more reasonable fee for access permission. For instance, the ticket price for a single person in the Son Tung MTP event in Vietnam fluctuates around five million VND, but many people choose to watch it on their TVs for only about three hundred thousand VND. As a result, people can focus on the performance without worrying about their budgets.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with the trend that citizens tend to use electronic gadgets or TVs to enjoy live performances rather than watching them directly, as it not only offers a better sense of convenience but also alleviates the required expenses.
(285 words)

Should I add some recommendations to my closing paragraph?
Thank you!
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / Beechwood Farm - Map - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

Task 1: The plans show the site of a farm in 1950, and the same site today.

The two maps below depict the transformation of a farm between 1950 and the present. Overall, the area has shifted from a predominantly rural and raising farm animal place to a recreational-oriented and energy-producing region while still having the previous traits. The key changes include the expansion of entertaining buildings and amenities, the elimination of the sheep farm, and the introduction of a new source of energy.

At the top right of the map, a sheep farm has been comprehensively altered to several dedicated areas, including producing solar energy on the right and a campsite to its left. Additionally, there is a parking site on both sides. Moreover, while the road crosses through the border of the left side of this farm and the surrounding river still remains intact, the internal track in the centre of the village has witnessed a change to the new road expanding to the bottom of a smaller barn.

Concerning the bottom left of Beechwood Farm, there was an agricultural area including fruit trees, soft fruits, and vegetable farmland. At present, their location remains unchanged, whilst a farm store appears in the fruit tree land.

To the bottom right of the map, although a chicken farm and a farmhouse do not record any alterations regarding their location which was near the river and stayed in the middle in advance, the barn has been converted into a contemporary holiday cottage for entertaining purposes.

Respect++
Mr Calma

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Writing Feedback / Working from Home: A Beneficial Trend in the Modern World - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the era of technology and integration, working via online platforms has become more widespread and is altering traditional methods over time. Several employers are now requesting that their workers work from home, which allows them to have more spare time. Personally, I believe this is a positive trend because it not only strengthens social relationships but also provides convenience.

One of the fundamental advantages of working from home is the enhancement of social relationships. By eliminating the need for long commutes, it paves the way for labourers to manage their time effectively for their other relationships. For example, a dedicated worker in a technological company in Vietnam no longer needs to spend time commuting a long distance to his workplace because of the choice to work online. He can thus make use of this time for family reunions. As a result, employees' diligence and work quality can be improved by having those wonderful moments serve as a paramount source of motivation.

Beyond the development relationships in society, another benefit of allowing employees to work at home is promoting their mental well-being. Without the time spent commuting, workers are less likely to feel fatigued or overwhelmed. The extra time at home can be utilised for stress relief or engaging in personal activities, leading to a greater sense of balance and emotional stability. For example, a remote employee can use the additional time to exercise, meditate, or make video calls with his family, which are activities that contribute to mental relaxation. Consequently, this reduction in stress helps workers feel more energised, which positively impacts their overall satisfaction.

In conclusion, giving permission for staffs to work online is a highly beneficial trend because it enhances social connections and improves mental health. Therefore, it is recommended to work online to take advantage of this technological breakthrough.

Thank you for spending time reading my essay.
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / How to make a sponge cake - Process - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

The diagram below provides instructions for making a sponge cake. Overall, it is clear that this human-driven process consists of eight sequential steps, beginning with gathering materials, followed by baking, and ending with presentation.

Regarding raw materials processing, it begins with the gathering of fundamental ingredients such as flour, sugar, eggs, and butter, which are crucial for creating the cake's unique texture and flavour. Following this, the ingredients are combined in a mixing bowl, where they are carefully poured and stirred together. Additionally, this mixture is poured into a well-shaped mould to undergo the baking step afterwards, which is ready for the following procedure.

In terms of garnishing and serving this dessert, the cream will be put on as the first layer, followed by spreading jam to create unique flavours. Subsequently, this cake can be adorned with various decorations, making it visually appealing before being presented, thereby ending the process.

Tysm!!!
Mr Calma

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Writing Feedback / Can mental strength outweight physical strength? - IELTS WARRIOR [4]

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While some believe it is essential to have physical strength to achieve success in sports, others are in favour of mental strength, which outweighs physical capabilities. In my opinion, I completely agree with the latter statement because mental resilience enables athletes to perform at their highest level, even though physical strength plays a crucial role in improving endurance.

There is a primary reason why some advocate for physical power, leading to achievements in sports, because it enhances athletes' persistence. Competitive sports often require a massive amount of players' energy; to meet these needs, engaging in training practices to gain muscle strength is common. For example, a renowned sprinter named Usain Bolt had to follow a strict training schedule, including high-intensity exercises to keep up with his opponents during his races. The more training, the more resilient the muscles become, which helps players stay energetic for a long duration. As a result, they can maintain their achievements and accomplish more objectives in the future.

However, I am firmly convinced that mental strength plays a more vital role in achieving success in sports by contributing to peak performances. A strong and stable mindset helps athletes to stay focused, manage pressure, and make effective decisions during high-stakes moments. For instance, even if a football player possesses exceptional physical endurance, he may still miss a penalty shot if he cannot remain calm under pressure. Therefore, developing psychological resilience is essential, as it helps athletes overcome nerves and perform at their full potential to achieve long-term success.

In conclusion, to achieve goals in sports, some consider physical strength to be vital for constructing endurance. Nonetheless, I strongly agree that mental power is much more beneficial because it is a paramount element that directly helps contestants showcase their best skills.

Please give me some feedbacks about my essay.
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / Level of satisfaction - Line graph - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

The line graph shows the level of satisfaction of the health care system in four countries in three years. Summarize the information by reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph depicts the satisfaction level in the healthcare system in four different nations from 1991 to 2007. Overall, satisfaction levels in the UK and the US rose gradually, whereas Canada experienced a sharp fluctuation, and the Netherlands remained relatively stable. The most dramatic change was in Canada, where the figure dropped significantly before rising again.

In 1991, only 10% of Americans were satisfied with their healthcare system, and this figure rose slightly to around 12% by 2007. Meanwhile, the satisfaction rate in the UK was at a higher start of approximately 22% and grew steadily to nearly 28% over the same period.

By contrast, Canada began with the highest satisfaction rate at 60% in 1991, but this figure declined to just one-fifth by 1998. It then rebounded sharply to 40% in 2007. In the Netherlands, satisfaction remained relatively stable, fluctuating slightly around 48-49% before dropping marginally to about 47% at the end of the period.

Tysm!!
Mr Calma

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Writing Feedback / Learning history or practical subjects? - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

FCQ3-2025-T1
**Some people think learning history in school is important. Others think learning subjects more relevant to life is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.**

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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While some believe it is essential to learn history at school, others are in favour of studying more practical subjects. In my opinion, although history enriches learners' knowledge about cultural identity, learning practical subjects is more important as it enhances the opportunities for students.

One primary reason why some hold the view that studying history at school is important is that it provides students with a wide range of cultural knowledge. History often teaches students about the old times and the advancements of societies over time. By learning historical events and transformations, students may have a deep understanding of the origins of their traditions. For instance, Vietnamese education offers three history lessons per week, which enables students to immerse themselves in the past and explore national identity. With a good basis knowledge of the local cultures, students can share them with foreigners, thus strengthening the national cultures.

In contrast, others maintain learning subjects related to life due to the promotion of students' future careers after studying these subjects. Learning practical subjects at school provides students with many essential skills, such as time management and problem-solving. By applying hands-on knowledge in practice, learners can achieve better assessments from others. For example, by learning English regularly, a number of Vietnamese students can have excellent communication skills. Despite their young age, many high-reputation international companies in Vietnam strive to recruit them. Therefore, learning subjects related to life plays a crucial role in improving the national workforce.

In conclusion, it is important to study history because it improves learners' cultural awareness. However, I am firmly convinced that learning subjects more relevant to life is more essential, since it paves the way for better job opportunities for students.

Tsym!
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / University courses- Line graph - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

FCQ3-2025-T1

The line graph illustrates the proportion of female learners enrolled in four distinct courses at a university between 1970 and 2015. Overall, the percentage of female students increased in all subjects except Computer Science, which fluctuated and eventually declined. Law consistently attracted the highest percentage of female scholars, while Computer Science ended with the lowest share.

In 1970, the number of female students registered in law courses was the smallest at nearly one-tenth; however, after 3 decades, it rose significantly to about 90%. Before reaching its peak of 100%, female students attending this course decreased slightly to around 85%. From 1985 to 1990, the number of female learners studying medicine surged dramatically by about 40%, and then climbed until 2010, before dropping marginally to approximately 87%. The Physics course remained stable in the first decade in the share of female students. Nevertheless, the figure increased substantially to nearly 60%, then remained unchanged for the next five years, and recorded a rise to almost 80% at the end of the period.

Regarding the most fluctuated category, with the highest start at roughly 35%, the proportion of female scholars attending computer science increased slightly to about 38% in the first 10 years, before climbing remarkably to around 70%. Nonetheless, there was a decrease relative to its initial point by 2015.

Appreciate it!
Mr Calma

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Writing Feedback / More abroad travellers- Opinion Essay - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

Task 2: Nowadays, more people travel abroad for tourism than ever before.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days, the number of individuals travelling overseas for tourism is higher than in the past. In my opinion, this is a completely positive trend, as it not only improves the national economy but also enriches cultures.

One of the primary advantages of more people travelling abroad is fostering the regional economy. As the number of visitors increases, local businesses gain opportunities to provide services and boost their revenue, including selling souvenirs and offering unique experiences. These memorable experiences, which might be shared online, can enhance the region's popularity as it attracts more visitors. For instance, a group of vloggers showcased the local cuisine in Vietnam's capital, and their viral videos attracted many people to the city. This large number allows local enterprises to thrive, creating jobs and further stimulating the economy. Thus, the popularity driven by tourism directly encourages the local economy's sustainable growth.

Beyond the benefit of developing the community economy, more people travelling for tourism can actually promote cultural exchange. The locals can have a great chance of communicating with foreigners when they can exchange their cultural identity, which contributes to cultural diversity. For instance, a souvenir seller in the most well-known port in Vietnam, after many conversations with customers of various backgrounds, acquires a diverse understanding of different cultures and later shares it with her family members. Hence, mass tourism provides both visitors and locals a fresh perspective on other cultures.

In conclusion, an increasing number of individuals decide to travel abroad for tourism nowadays. Personally, I think it is a positive development because this surge in international travel not only boosts local economies through increased spending but also fosters cultural exchange.

(27 days left)
Tysm!
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / Team vs. Solitary activities - Opinion Essay - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

T2-FCQ3-2025
**Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**

More life skills can be taught through team activities than through solitary activities. In my opinion, I firmly agree with this statement because teamwork not only improves communication skills, but also leadership ability.

One of the primary reasons why I believe teamwork can teach more practical skills than working alone is the way it enhances communication capability. By working in a group, individuals can have more opportunities to discuss with other team members. Therefore, people can learn how to transfer innovations in their minds into speech to ensure that their group members can figure out the main features. For example, an average class in Hong Quang High School often divides students into groups to make some presentations about their lesson topics during class. Although the start was not convenient and students did not provide adequate learning materials, after a few days of practice with each other, they quickly produced vocalisations comfortably, and made excellent progress in fostering other classmates' understanding of their ideas.

Beyond the benefit of promoting communication capability, doing group activities can also develop leadership ability. Working alone does not provide any leadership experiences because people study solely. However, when working in a group, each individual may have a chance to organise discussions and projects since teamwork aims at promoting individuals' soft skills and also encourages people to showcase their capabilities. For example, staff in numerous technological corporations in Vietnam are often allowed to take turns in delicate tasks for other employees in their teams, which is similar to the head manager's activity. Therefore, by practising frequently, people can become excellent leaders, making team activities much more effective.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that teamwork can help individuals gain more practical skills than working independently. This is because team activities develop both communication and leadership skills.

(25 days left)
Appreciate it!
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / Are museums and art galleries still important? - Opinion Essay - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

*Nowadays, some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?*

These days, some believe that it is no longer necessary to build public museums or art exhibitions because of the use of computers to view historical artefacts and artworks. In my opinion, I firmly disagree with this statement because I think these destinations offer a more realistic experience and play a crucial role in education.

One of the primary advantages of places such as public museums and art galleries is the way they foster realistic experiences. Although many historical objects and artworks are available on the Internet, they are such casual images that are not as intriguing as seeing them in person. This is because individuals can have opportunities to see their favourite objects in a particular setting, which helps visitors immerse themselves in the objects' anecdotes. For example, when a group of Indian tourists visited the Vietnamese weapons museum, they were impressed by the historical re-enactments of the development of weapons in a spacious room, which made them feel as if they were in those periods.

Beyond the benefit of improving experiences, they contribute to preserving heritage items. By spreading visitors' memorable experiences, these artefacts can become more well-known and attract more tourists. This practice can improve the budgets of cultural institutions, which may utilise for protecting artefacts. For instance, several art exhibitions in Vietnam charge a reasonable entrance fee to create funds to repair numerous Vietnamese traditional masterpieces. Since the quality enhancement of cultural items helps them remain intact from the ravages of time.

In conclusion, I believe that art galleries and museums hold special significance not only in providing better experiences but also in protecting cultural artefacts. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the statement that these places will not be essential due to the fact that individuals can use a computer to watch heritage items and works of art.

(24 days left)
Million thanks.
Mr Calma

Writing Feedback / How to improve road safety? - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motor-bike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some believe that heightening the limitation of legal age for driving motor-bike or a car is the best solution to enhance traffic safety. I support this statement to the extent that it can prevent traffic accidents; however, I consider that strengthening law enforcement is a better measure as it raises public awareness.

I am convinced that the reduction of traffic accidents can be achieved by increasing the minimum age of driving car or riding motor-bike. The lack of awareness of using these means of transport of teenagers directly contributes to the potential danger of both themselves and other drivers because they often do not have enough skills to deal with urgent situations. For example, many adolescents in Vietnam tend to use powerful motor bikes when they are given permission. However, due to not having a calm and rational mind as experienced individuals when they need to do emergency braking to avoid a crash, they are attributed to one of the major causes of traffic accidents in this nation. Hence, by widening the legal age, teenagers can gain more knowledge and experiences to improve their reflection and be decisive, thereby alleviating the number of accidents,

Although increasing the legal age is a viable solution, I believe that there are many better ways to promote safety on the road, including implementing stricter laws which raises people's awareness. If governments impose a harsh punishment on lawbreakers, they may have a better awareness about their actions because of the fear of losing finance, thus creating a sense of community. To illustrate, Vietnamese authorities have increased remarkably the penalty of running a red light which makes more citizens obey this regulation, leading to the reduction of traffic accidents rate. As a result, the legal age is not a major concern since many people have a deeper understanding of the consequences of wrongdoings when witnessing some pay price when they strive to bend or break the rules.

In conclusion, I agree with the statement to the extent that increasing the legal age of using particular means of transport results in road security as it decreases the number of traffic accidents. Nonetheless, I consider that strengthening law enforcement is a better solution due to fostering public understanding.

Writing Feedback / Playing freely after school or doing more organised - IELTS WARRIOR [2]

Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that students can learn more when they are left free to play than follow more organised after school. In my opinion, I partly agree with this statement because playing freely can promote children's creativity while organised activities help them adapt better in different environments.

One of the primary advantages of allowing children to play freely after school is improving their creative capability. Students are enabled to engage themselves in their favourite activities, which can be altered to be appropriate for different circumstances. If children find these activities no longer suitable for themselves, they can make changes whenever they want to create more intriguing models. For example, most Vietnamese children choose tug of war as an ideal sport after studying; however, when some feel loss interest, they may create their own versions, targeting individual physical strength instead of teamwork. Therefore, the creativity of children can be significantly improved.

On the other hand, I believe that doing more structured activities can enhance their adaptation to distinct environments. Taking part in available and organised events can make children in difficulty because they might not be their fondness or too tough for them. Thus, students need to develop their strategies and techniques to compete with other classmates to achieve victory. For instance, when a school organises a chess tournament, some children who do not have any particular interests or skills may find it challenging at first. Nevertheless, in order to pursue the first place, some strive to learn new tactics, practice with seniors to improve their critical thinking skills to overtake others in this competition.

In conclusion, while free play can foster children's creativity by giving them the freedom to explore their interests, structured activities are equally valuable in helping them adapt to different environments. Therefore, combining both approaches is the most effective way to support students' overall development.

This is my last essay before sitting the IELTS exam in the following day. If someone see this, please pray for me.
Million thanks for your support.
Mr Calma

Student Talk / 7.5 IELTS OVERALL! - IELTS WARRIOR [3]

Hello everyone,
I'm excited to share that I've achieved an overall IELTS score of 7.5 ! (5/10/25)
Breakdown: Listening 8.0, Reading 7.5, Writing 7.5(the most impressive), Speaking 6.0.
It's been a tough but rewarding journey, and I'm truly grateful for all the support and resources from this forum. Thank you to everyone who shared your experiences and advice - it helped me a lot.
For anyone still on the road to their goal: stay consistent, keep practicing, and don't lose hope. Every goals is attainable.

Best wishes,
Mr Calma

CONGRATULATIONS! :)